


Mass Effect : Resilience ~ ALTF5

by ALTF5



Category: Mass Effect - All Media Types, Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-18
Updated: 2019-04-01
Packaged: 2019-07-13 20:32:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 16
Words: 26,456
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16025465
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ALTF5/pseuds/ALTF5
Summary: Mass Effect Trilogy plus extra stuffs from both Tali's and a Male Shepard's perspective, mostly canon. FanFic user FeralG3 helped out a lot. Rated M for graphic and intense mental trauma and illness, plus the usual: violence, sexual content and excessive sarcasm. Coarse language too, but mostly snark and sass. Possible smut, but I will provide a clean version of smut chapters.





	1. Introduction

Hey everyone! Just a disclaimer! I do tend to drone on and on and on and there’s no one here to stop me so read this at your own risk! This is also a very casual message so forgive any lacking spelling or grammar. On a more serious note, if you’re like me and suffering from depression, anxiety, or any form of other mental illness please consider reading the rest of this. No pressure or anything I’m just trying to help in a way that was never presented to me! PLEASE just consider reading on at the very least.

Also if you’re just some rando looking for another rando to talk to then I’m your guy! Shoot me a message anytime I’m always in the market for new friendos!

Contact Info! Message me anytime! I'll reply ASAP. The DMs on this site are somewhat unreliable so no promises with any messages here.

Email : Do people still use this? Anyway ALTF5productions@gmail.com

FanFiction.net : ALT F5

Facebook Page : ALTF5 Productions / @ALTF5productions / Honestly just search ALTF5 Productions in Facebook and look for Revan

Tumblr : ALTF5 Productions / Again just search altf5productions and look for Revan

Reddit : ALTF5productionz / It might be listed as NSFW. I dunno look for Revan

Xbox : ALT FS / Probably playing Mass Effect or Dark Souls

Steam : ALTF5 / Not gonna be very active here until I replace my PC

Alright here we go! I’m Carter! I’ve had people close to me suffer from depression and mental illness most of my life. Not only did I have to watch them go through it and feel powerless to help them, but I’ve been suffering from depression for the last couple of years as well. Let’s just say I was fine until I started the third year of my bachelor’s degree and student life got to me.

Fan fiction was something I discovered a couple of months ago and I really did not realize how much I needed it until I found it. I mainly use it for Mass Effect - cuz if you’re like me you absolutely LOVED the games but regardless of how many times you created another Shepard in the first game and made it all the way to the end of the trilogy (yeah I said TRILOGY. But thats a story for another day. Please don’t hate me) you’d still feel empty inside with a thirst for more. But creating 12 more Shepards and sinking another 1200 hours into the trilogy and reading the books still can’t quench your thirst. That was me. After playing as femshep and romancing Garrus about 6 times I really wanted a more satisfying story for that power couple. Well I found it here. Pretty much anything I wanted that the games didn’t give me, talented and amazing individuals found a way to give it to me in the form of writing. Like I said, I didn’t realize how much I needed this stuff until I found it.

Okay time to be SERIOUSLY SERIOUS. For all those reading this who are like me, I’m gonna outline what I perceive our lives to be like. We’re depressed or suffering from some form of mental illness. But we’re stubborn and refuse to deal with it. To borrow a line from Peebee, if you ignore a problem for long enough 9 times outta 10 it’ll solve itself. We’re either too proud, too ignorant or just too stupid to get help for ourselves for an infinite number of reasons. So we just look at memes, or play video games or watch tv or go on facebook, friggin anything to make us forget we’re not okay, even if it’s only for a few moments. We dodge and swat questions away like “are you sure you’re okay” and “do you want help” and just reply with “don’t worry I’m fine” because we don’t want to worry or bother other people with our problems. We just want a way to deal with and fix our problems that does not require interaction with other people. An ex girlfriend of mine found a way.

She found that by both reading and writing about characters who suffered from similar problems we ourselves had, it was a subtle way of venting our problems. It never cured or got rid of our illness, but it definitely made the day to day stuff more bearable. Reading about a character who suffers from depression and anxiety made me feel like I wasn’t alone. I didn’t feel like an outcast or like I had to pretend to be okay. Another cheesy line : I felt okay to NOT be okay. It was something I wish I found long ago. So I’m taking this opportunity to share it with you, whoever you are.

I’m presenting you with the option I never had. If you get a chance to read some of my work, please keep in mind I wrote it for people like YOU. For people like US. So that people like YOU wouldn’t suffer in the same ways I did. I mean this in the most serious manner. If there is ever a point where you feel like nobody would miss you if you were gone, STOP. You’re wrong. You’ll ALWAYS be wrong about that. At least 3 people in this world would miss you at any given time. I promise you that. You can also add me to the list. I care about you and I’m always a short message away. Shoot me a message anytime.


	2. Prologue

_A brief note to my invaluable reader,_

 

_This project would not have been possible without the request of_ [ _fanfiction.net_ ](http://fanfiction.net) _user FeralG3. The sculpting of Shepard’s appearance and personality was mostly done by them, with me filling in a few gaps. All compliments may be directed towards FeralG3, while I will happily accept any insults! If you are feeling up to it, a review and/or request is always appreciated so I may continue to provide you with more worthwhile content. As always, my work is always dedicated to you, my reader. Please enjoy responsibly._

 

_~AltF5_

 

_*AltF5 Productions is not held responsible for any hurt feelings, disappointment, sprained wrists, broken bones and other forms of physical injury or boo boos, accidental death or dismemberment, acts of god, or general dissatisfaction. Please read at your own risk, viewer discretion is advised. He he he_

 

Prologue 

 

Tali’Zorah watched with curiosity and anticipation as the lone Geth’s patrol pattern brought it closer towards her, while it gradually became more separated from its companions. It obviously had not detected her as she hid in a small, frozen alcove which did not contrast itself from the surrounding frozen wasteland. This was the first Geth she had ever seen in her life - pictures and old recordings did not count - and Tali was both intrigued and slightly frightened. She assumed she was likely to be the first quarian in a few hundred years to be looking at a Geth, let alone stand a few metres away from it; however, Keenah’Breizh was also hiding nearby so she could not take full credit for the discovery. Tali shivered and pulled her purple hood tighter around her head while she wrapped her arms around her torso for warmth. It was not cold enough for her heads-up-display to blink a temperature warning, but it was cold enough to make her wish for an additional thermal layer. She quietly turned her head to look over in Keenah’s direction and saw him crouching at the other opening of the alcove. His blue suit was barely distinguishable in the icy depression they were hiding in, but Tali was able to see that he was also shivering. He slightly moved his head to face her and a text message popped up in the corner of Tali’s HUD.

 

_“So, do you still think this is a good idea? The Geth doesn’t know we’re here. It’s not too late to leave. We can wait for it to walk away and make a break for it.”_

 

Tali looked back over to the Geth to see it was scanning a piece of rubble a few feet away from the alcove. It was closer to where she was, so Tali assumed Keenah was looking to her for guidance. He was not wrong to be reconsidering the plan; after all, what they were attempting to do with the Geth was not exactly safe. Tali and Keenah were the only two crew members who came planetside while the rest of the crew was still orbiting the planet aboard the Honorata.If anything went wrong and the lone Geth decided to call for reinforcements, they would be alone and unable to call for help. Tali instantly became more frightened at the realization that the plan needed to go perfectly, or it was very likely that she and Keenah would be killed; however, Tali learned how to hide fear behind sarcasm and sass from an early age: the admiral’s daughter could not be seen as a coward. It was better to be seen as abrasive and rude, rather than scared and submissive. Tali input a reply with her omnitool and waited for her companion to respond.

 

_“What’s the matter, Keenah? Too scared to follow through? If you’d rather dig a hole to hide in, I can handle this myself. Don’t worry, I’ll only tell EVERYONE.”_

 

Tali immediately regretted her strong words, as there was a good chance Keenah might actually decide to sit this one out. She needed his help and there was no way she could complete the plan alone. Tali hoped Keenah would take the bait instead of misinterpreting the taunt. 

 

_“One moment, I’m considering it… Screw it, I’m in. If you die before I do, I WILL laugh.”_

 

_“Good, then let me know when you’re ready.”_

 

Tali keyed in a command to her omnitool and prepared an overload program. It needed to be strong enough to paralyze the Geth without giving it time to call for help, but not so strong that it fried its electrical components, or arced to Keenah. This was going to be a very delicate procedure and there was no room for error, this needed to go smoothly. Keenah activated his omnitool and an omniblade extended out of the holographic housing. 

_“Alright ,Tali… this is it. There’s no turning back after this. If you want to change your mind, now’s the time. We are either going to pull this off perfectly, or die. What’s the plan?”_

 

_No turning back. Keelah, he’s right… but then again, this whole pilgrimage is something with no turning back. Well, if there’s no turning back then I better make this count._

 

_“Keenah, do it. I’m ready”_

 

Keenah bumped his omniblade into the frozen wall of the alcove, causing an audible thump as snow fell from the top and landed in front of the cave-like opening. The Geth immediately stood upright and pointed its plasma rifle over in Keenah’s direction.

 

_It’s done. No turning back._

 

The Geth began taking slow, cautious steps towards Keenah’s hiding spot and Tali prepared her omnitool. When it was close enough for its optical searchlight to cast Keenah’s almost invisible shadow, Tali leaped forward and activated her omnitool. The electrical discharge arced to the unsuspecting Geth and surged through its body, causing it to utter a metallic squeak as it began convulsing. Keenah sprung forward and plunged his omniblade into the Geth’s neck, tumbling into the ground along with his robotic victim. 

 

“TALI!” Keenah bellowed. “HURRY!”

 

Tali sprinted over to the pair of bodies on the ground and lunged to the Geth’s nearly severed head. She used her own omniblade to break open the metal casing on the back of its skull and began stripping apart any electrical components she could wrap her fingers around. After a few short moments the Geth ceased attempting to move and lay motionless on the ground as white smoke began rising out of its neck. 

 

“It fried its internal circuitry”, Keenah observed. “That’s what the white smoke is, I think. I can’t believe that worked! Nice one, Tali! Did you manage to grab anything that wasn’t roasted along with it?” 

 

Tali began rummaging through a small pile of metal and circuits, searching for anything intact or usable. She finally pulled out a small motherboard that was split in half, but looked as if it was still functional. Keenah scanned it with his omnitool and began sifting through the readings. 

 

“It’s a memory core”, he pointed out. “So far, nothing stored inside is usable. Pretty much all the files are destroyed or corrupted. Did you manage to… hang on. I found something! It’s an audio file! No visuals to go along with it, but I’ll see what we can restore.” Tali watched intently as Keenah rapidly input commands into his omnitool. He groaned in frustration and looked up with electric blue eyes gazing through his faceplate. 

 

“Are you sure you didn’t grab anything else?” He implored. “I don’t think this memory core is going to give us anything”

 

“Well”, Tali sneered. “Why don’t YOU search through our loot pile, and I’ll take a look at the memory core? Obviously, you’re doing something wrong.” Keenah rolled his eyes and passed Tali the broken motherboard.

 

“Keelah”, Keenah exclaimed. “Next time, I will let you do it yourself and go dig myself a hole to hide in.”

Tali scanned the motherboard to discover the only intact files remaining were heavily encrypted; furthermore, there was no way to know for certain if the files were usable even if they were to be decrypted. Concluding that she had nothing better to do, Tali began running her decryption program on the remaining files. Keenah finished looking through the small pile of Geth innards and looked over to watch Tali. 

 

“Good luck”, he scoffed. “I’ll make sure his friends don’t come looking for him.” The decryption program sounded off in a quiet beep, indicating it had completed its task.

 

“No need!” Tali quipped. “It’s done. I’ll even let you listen to the audio file if you tell me what a savant I am, and how nobody will ever be able to surpass me. Especially not you.” Keenah gently tapped his knuckles on her faceplate and moved closer to her.

 

“Hello?” He teased. “Anybody in there? All I see is hot air coming out of that suit. Is there actually a quarian in there?” Tali huffed and poked him in the chest, then opened the audio file while streaming it through her comm channel with Keenah.

 

_“Eden Prime was a major victory, and the beacon has brought us one step closer to finding the Conduit!”_

 

_“And one step closer to the return of the Reapers…”_

 

Tali and Keenah paused in silence for a few moments, both of them wondering if they had heard anything significant. Keenah was absolutely correct: there was no turning back. 


	3. Act I : Chapter I

Chapter I : I

 

Citadel Wards

 

_Oh, Keelah, what have I done?_

 

Tali’Zorah was limping through the crowded corridor on the wards level, clutching her abdomen as warm blood oozed out of her wound. Between the searing pain in her side, the multiple warning alarms on her HUD indicating a suit rupture and her vision becoming gradually more blurred, she was surprised she was still able to move without keeling over. Tali needed serious help: if the blood loss from the bullet wound did not kill her, an impending infection from the suit breach would. 

 

_Keenah, I am so sorry. Please forgive me. I had no choice. I would give anything to have you walking beside me._

 

A glowing red medical sign caught her eye as Tali slowly began losing feeling in her legs. She fought through her pain and dragged herself towards the sign to find another one off in the distance. She tried her best to ignore the blaring sirens on her HUD and the disgusted stares of the citadel citizens as she pushed past them. Tali pushed on towards the next medical sign, hoping with every fibre of her body that her medical haven would be close. Her legs would soon stop obeying her and she would eventually collapse. Tali pressed on, suppressing her agony: she knew if she fell down, she would never get up. 

 

_Keenah._

 

Tali cried out in relief as the next sign she arrived at was above the door to a clinic, and she exhaustedly fell through the doorway. At this point her vision was on the brink of failure as she could not see anything other than greyish blobs, bright lights and a thin trail of blood she left in her wake. Her legs had ceased to move and she clawed the floor as she dragged herself forward.

 

“Doctor Michel! Someone’s bleeding! Help!”

 

_Keenah. I think I will join you soon._

 

Tali groggily felt arms close in around her body and lift her upwards. She barely felt the cool metal of the table she was placed on and did not even blink as a blinding white light appeared in front of her. All her pain had vanished and she was left quietly with her thoughts.

 

“Doctor Michel, is she still alive?!”

 

_Keenah, I’m here. Where are you?_

 


	4. Act I : Chapter II

Act I : II

 

Citadel Wards

 

Tali’Zorah slowly began to be aware of her surroundings as she regained consciousness. Her HUD was calm except for a warning icon urging her to do a suit diagnostic. 

 

_Am I dead?_

 

Tali was lying down on a medical cot and as she looked around, it dawned on her that she did make it to the medical clinic. 

 

_No, shockingly. I’m alive…_

 

She sat upright and grunted in pain as her abdomen flared up in agony, causing her to lay back down. 

 

_Keelah! That hurt! At least I’m alive._

 

Tali slowly remembered that although she had made it out alive, Keenah did not; however, neither did the turian mercenary that Saren hired to kill her and recover the audio file.

 

_This damn audio file. This damn thing got everyone killed. EVERYONE. Except me. It’s all my fault. If I had left the damn Geth alone, none of this would have happened. Keenah, I am so sorry. It’s my fault you’re dead, along with everyone else._

 

Tali turned on her omnitool and made sure the audio file was still in her possession. Once she was satisfied that no one tried to steal it while she was unconscious, she began to weep again.

 

_It’s all my fault. If I was smarter and more careful, none of this would have happened. Keenah. Keenah, please forgive me._

 

Tali heard a door open somewhere in the room and bolted back up into a sitting position, ignoring the protest of her abdomen. A fair skinned human woman in a lab coat began walking towards her and carefully sat down beside her cot. She had deep, orange-red hair and dull green eyes which watched Tali carefully, then looked down at her omnitool as she keyed in a few commands. Tali cautiously waited for the human to say something first, but could not help trying to look at her omnitool to see what she was doing. 

 

“I am Doctor Chloe Michel”, the woman announced. “And this is my clinic. You came here with a bullet wound and soon lost consciousness after one of my nurses found you. I have treated you to the best of my ability and you should be fine; however, your wound may permanently scar. I’m sorry but the damage was quite severe and I prioritized saving your life over keeping your skin pretty. You also have a debilitating infection due to the wound and your skin being exposed, and I can assume the infection is why you are still in a lot of pain. I can give you an anesthetic to dull the pain, but I needed you to regain consciousness before I could safely administer it to you.” Doctor Michel paused for a minute, but Tali decided to keep her mouth shut instead of attempting a witty remark.

 

“You should also know”, Michel continued. “I am required by law to notify the authorities if I treat an injury such as yours. Citadel Security was here while you were unconscious, but they could not find any stolen property or evidence to suggest you are a criminal, and left you in my care. There’s no need to worry about being arrested, you have been cleared. Now, may I know your name? You do not have any credentials recognized in council space.” Again, Tali decided to keep her mouth shut. Every human she had met so far had been less than kind to her, and although this woman claimed to have treated her, she had no intention of trusting her.

 

“I know you must be scared”, Michel stated. “But I will not hurt you. I just want to know your name so I can finish my paperwork. I do not intend to ask you any personal questions, but I would like to know how you were shot. Do you know who shot you?” 

 

“Yes, and I killed him”, Tali blurted out without thinking. Michel seemed to think on her reply for a moment, but her expression did not change; in fact, she did not seem bothered by the answer at all. 

 

“You need to be careful with your words”, Michel warned. “It’s not a threat, I’m just saying be careful with what you say, and be watchful of who may be listening. Anyway, I am not going to report that; however, I do need to ask if you know who exactly was it that you killed?”

 

“Why should I tell you?” Tali snapped. “Every human I’ve met in my entire life so far has either look down on me with disgust, or tried to kill me. Do I have reason to believe you’re any different?”

 

“Well, for starters, I stopped you from bleeding to death”, Michel retorted. “And not only did I manage to stop your infection from getting worse, I am offering to give you medication to help with the pain. Not all humans are the same, so why don’t you let me give you an anesthetic, then you can decide if I’m trying to kill you?” Tali clutched her abdomen at the mention of her infection and agreed that she was in a fair amount of pain, which made the anesthetic sound very tempting. 

 

_I need to stop and think. Being rash and impulsive is what got me into this damn mess._

 

Tali’s eyes started watering as she remembered how Keenah had died, and her memory replayed the terrible scene in her mind. Tali pulled herself back to reality, utterly repulsed by the images in her head. 

 

_This doctor would not have gone through all the trouble of saving my life if she intended to kill me afterwards. She may be human, but at least she wants me alive for some reason…I just want to know what the reason is before I decide to trust her…_

 

“Why did you help me?” Tali demanded.

 

“Why wouldn’t I?” Michel shrugged. “Besides, if you didn’t think I would help you, why did you come here in the first place?” Tali immediately felt immature and foolish, the doctor spoke the truth - she really was just trying to help her - and Tali felt stupid for taking so long to realize. Even if the doctor did not have the best intentions, she did choose to save Tali’s life instead of throwing her dead body back out into the street. 

 

“Fine”, Tali conceded. “Give me the anesthetic. Please.” 

 

“Of course”, Michel replied. “Please stay still.” Tali lay motionless and allowed Doctor Michel to approach her with her omnitool. She pinched a needle into a vacuum port on Tali’s leg - causing a warning alarm to light up on her HUD - and she felt a small pinch as the needle penetrated her skin underneath. Tali’s leg became strangely warm for a few moments as Doctor Michel withdrew the needle, then she felt the warmth transfer to her abdomen which soon started becoming numb. The agonizing sensation was finally gone and she breathed a sigh of grateful relief. Tali lay in silence for a few moments and closed her eyes, ignoring the warning lights reminding her to diagnose her suit integrity. 

 

“Thank you”, Tali breathed. 

 

“You’re welcome” Michel smiled. “Like I said, I want to help you.” 

 

“I need to make sure my suit integrity isn’t compromised”, Tali noted. She tried to stand up, but Michel gently grasped her arms while she stood up to aid her balance as she took a few steps away from the cot. 

 

“Thank you, again”, Tali sighed as she checked every vacuum seal and possible fault zone on her suit, starting with the seals around her helmet and faceplate, then continued downward to her ankle fault zones. She had become very efficient at the entire process - it was something she had to do on a daily basis if she did not want to risk infection - and finished her inspection in a few minutes.

 

“A turian was hired to kill me”, Tali finally said after Doctor Michel had silently watched her inspect her suit. “He did not succeed, but he did manage to kill my entire crew. My friend, Keenah, was the only one left, and he died too. My bullet wound may not have been fatal, but his was, and Keenah died before we could get medical help. I trapped that bosh’tet turian inside an incinerator and burned him alive along with Keenah’s body. I lost my best friend, but I made sure that damn turian payed the price.” Michel just silently stared at her intently and Tali paused for a moment to allow her time to think. 

 

“Do you know who hired them?” Michel inquired. “And why were they after you?”

 

“No, I don’t know who wants me dead, but I do know WHY and based on that, I can guess who hired the turian”, Tali contemplated. “I found an audio file implementing a council spectre in the attack on a colony. My guess is that he knows I have it, and he now wants me dead before I can inform the council. The problem is, nobody will listen to me! The security officers here refuse to believe me when I tell them I have information the council needs, and the citadel VI told me the council is not granting audiences for the next few MONTHS. This damn file has gotten so many people killed and all I want to do is destroy it! It’s my fault all my friends died! But I can’t let them die in vain! I’ve made it this far and I am not giving up until the council sees this file!” Tali stopped talking and sobbed to herself for a few moments.

 

_I’m all alone. There’s no one left to help me. I miss you, Keenah._

 

Tali jumped as she felt Doctor Michel reach out and touch her shoulder with a sympathetic grasp. 

 

“I’m sorry this happened to you…I still don’t know your name”, Michel said quietly.

 

“Tali”, she answered. “Tali’Zorah nar Rayya.”

 

“Well, Tali”, Michel announced. “I may be able to do one more thing for you. I cannot grant you an audience with the council, but what I can do is put you into contact with someone who can.” She paused for a moment to choose her words carefully before continuing. “It may not be a conventional method, and may not exactly be the safest course of action, but there are information brokers all over the citadel who would be willing to help you get your file to the council. As I said, it is not the safest thing to do, but it may be your only option. Think about it for a while and let-

 

“I’ll do it”, Tali interrupted. “You’re right, it IS my only option and it is only a matter of time before more assassins come after me. If I die, all my friends died for nothing. Please tell me what I need to do.” Doctor Michel gave Tali a crestfallen smile and nodded slowly. 

 

“There is an information broker working in the Presidium”, Michel explained. “However, you will not have clearance to travel up there. You will have to contact him through the extranet. He is a volus by the name of Barla Von, and he works in the financial district. I will tell you how to contact him, but you must be sure this is what you want to do. Once you contact Barla Von you-

 

“I know, I cannot turn back”, Tali finished. Michel raised an eyebrow and gave her a curious look.

 

_No turning back. There’s never any turning back._

 


	5. Act I : Chapter III

Act I : III

 

Citadel Wards

 

Tali’Zorah had been patiently waiting in the clinic for a few hours now, occasionally seeing Doctor Michel as she popped into the room every now and then to check on her and administer another dose of anesthetic. She looked down at her omnitool again for the hundredth time and reread her text to the volus banker.

 

_“Barla Von, I have evidence regarding a council spectre’s questionable activities - specifically agent Saren leading an army of Geth in the attack on a colony - and I would like to arrange to have the information brought the to correct people. Please contact me as soon as possible.”_

 

Tali heavily encrypted the message and was certain the only people who would be able to decrypt it were the ones she wanted the message to reach. Although she was very impatient to receive a reply, she was also quite frightened by the thought of contacting a shadowy organization. Tali passed the time by altering her omnitool programs, but the longer she spent waiting, the more lonely she felt. She missed her father most of all, and was crestfallen at the loss of his farewell recording, which was lost in the incinerator that killed the turian mercenary and burned Keenah’s body. 

 

_Keenah. Father. I wish you were both here with me…_

 

Tali was interrupted by a notification on her HUD, which made her jump and quickly open her omnitool so she could read the message she had been anxiously waiting for.

 

_“I am grateful you managed to contact me, as it saved me the trouble of seeking you out. Yes, I am very much aware of the information in your possession, and I am interested in obtaining it from you. Are you willing to negotiate a price? ~ BV”_

 

Tali did not even need to think about her response.

 

_“I have a more interesting offer: if you promise to get this information directly to the council as soon as possible, I will pass the file to you free of charge. Do we have a deal?”_

 

Tali was distraught with anxiety as she awaited a response; in fact, she was trembling with anticipation.

 

_“That is a very generous offer. Almost TOO generous, and I would be a fool to blindly agree to your terms. I must know: why are you offering this to me at no cost? You are not foolish, I am sure you are well aware of how valuable this information is. So, why offer me the file for nothing in return?”_

 

_“You are mistaken, Barla Von. I am NOT offering you my information free of charge. I am asking you to bring this evidence to the citadel council as quickly as you possibly can. THAT is my price. I shall ask again: do we have a deal?”_

 

Tali waited a few more agonizingly slow seconds, that seemed to feel like hours. 

 

_“Very well, Miss Tali’Zorah, we have a deal. If you agree to pass the evidence to me, I shall personally ensure it reaches the council as soon as possible: on that note, you have my word. One of my representatives shall meet you: he decides to go by the name of Fist. He is an agent for the Shadow Broker, as am I. He can be found at a gentleman’s club in the lower wards: Chora’s Den. I will notify him you will be meeting him there and his security detail shall grant you entry without a hassle. Please bring the evidence to him, and do try not to disappoint me, the Shadow Broker does not endorse broken deals.”_

 

Tali’s omnitool suddenly shut off for a few moments and then reactivated, leaving behind no trace of the conversation whatsoever. She panicked and quickly checked if the evidence file was still in her possession: it was. 

 

_Keelah, he knew my name. He probably knows more about me than that._

 

Tali purposely slowed her erratic breathing and forced herself to calm down and think clearly. She knew what she had to do, whether she was brave enough to follow through with her plan was another story. 

 

_If I don’t do this, Keenah and the others died for nothing. Remember: no turning back._

 

“Doctor Michel?!” Tali called out. Michel came running into the room a few moments later. 

 

“Tali?” She demanded. “Is something wrong?” Tali forced herself out of the cot and stood up, ignoring the protests from her slowly healing bullet wound. 

 

“I need to go”, Tali announced. “Can I have one more shot of painkillers first?”

 

“I suppose I cannot convince you to stay until you fully recover?” Michel asked.

 

“No”, Tali quipped. “Where is Chora’s Den?” 


	6. Act I : Chapter IV

Act I : IV

 

Lower Wards

 

Tali’Zorah quickly realized something was very wrong. The human male named Fist had sent her to this deserted alley to meet with the Shadow Broker, but whoever the broker was, they were definitely not here. Instead, there was a turian here with two salarian bodyguards which immediately warned Tali something was not right. A powerful, inconspicuous information broker would not agree to meet someone with his face exposed and a mere two bodyguards. Tali was afraid she had figured out this was a trap far too late and was running out of time to escape.

 

“Where’s the Shadow Broker?” Tali demanded. “Where’s Fist?”

 

“They’ll be here”, the turian answered. He touched Tali’s shoulder and suggestively moved his hand down the length of her arm. “Where’s the evidence?” 

 

_Bosh’tet._

 

Tali smacked his hand away from her and glared at him from underneath her faceplate. 

 

“No way”, Tali hissed. “The deal’s off”. She took a step backwards from him and prepared an explosive mine with her omnitool. Tali hoped she would not need it and she would be allowed to leave - or at the very least be able to run away - but she knew it was wishful thinking. The turian confirmed her suspicions as he nodded to the two salarians, who both primed their pistols and began approaching her threateningly. 

 

_Damn it._

 

Tali instantly threw the mine towards the ground in front of the salarians and sprinted towards the door she entered the alley through. Bullets sounded off from behind her and she felt them spear through the air around her and ricochet off the smooth floor. Tali’s mine exploded which temporarily stunned the assailants and gave her time to vault over a half-wall, then proceed to throw herself behind it. Gunfire rattled the wall as Tali desperately tried to think of a way to escape. 

 

“You should have given us the evidence, suit rat!” The turian called out. “I would have let you go if you did! Well, maybe not. I can’t let vermin run around the citadel!” A faint metallic clunk made Tali look down at the floor as an omnigrenade rolled around a foot away from her. 

 

_Oh. Son of a-_

 

/

 

Gabriel Shepard knew he had microseconds to react before the omnigrenade exploded, and dashed forward using his armour’s thruster jets. He snatched the grenade up from the ground and used his momentum to back-roll over the half-wall the quarian was cowering behind. Gabriel landed on his feet and used another microsecond to interpret his situation: there was a turian armed with a shotgun a few metres to his left, with two salarians armed with pistols standing a couple of yards behind him at the midpoint of the alley. He launched the grenade directly at the turian and threw out a singularity towards the two salarians, then used a thruster jump to fire himself towards the alley wall on his right. Using the remainder of his thruster jets, Shepard ran along the face of the wall, easily evading the shots coming from the two salarians while the singularity slowly made its way towards them. The turian decided to hurl himself away from the grenade instead of attempting to fire at Shepard, which caused him to lose a few crucial seconds. 

 

_Good. A few seconds is all I’ll need to take out your back-up dancers. Then you’re next._

 

Shepard could feel himself slowly losing altitude and knew his thrusters would expire soon, but the singularity had finally gone off and lifted the salarians off the ground, suspending them helplessly in mid-air. He immediately pushed himself off the wall and used a biotic charge to torpedo himself at the singularity, which violently exploded the moment he touched it. The salarians were ragdolled away from Shepard and he wasted no time using another dash to speed towards the turian; unfortunately, he was anticipating a close quarters engagement. The turian threw aside his shotgun and unsheathed his talon-like knife, then sidestepped out of Shepard’s dash and turned over to bring down the point of the blade towards him. Shepard used the rest of his momentum to roll forwards out of the attempted stabbing and turned around to face the turian, raising his fists in the process.

 

“You must be either stupid, or brave”, the turian taunted. “You don’t really expect to kill me while unarmed, do you?” 

 

“Actually”, Gabriel answered while circling his opponent. “I’m hoping I won’t need to kill you, but I won’t exactly lose any sleep over your corpse.” Ashley chose that moment to run over and aim her rifle directly at the turian. 

 

“I have a shot, Commander”, Ashley said through the comm link so the turian would not be able to hear. “Just say the word.” 

 

“Put the knife down”, Shepard ordered. “You’re outnumbered and I won’t ask you again.” The turian cackled and rushed forward, leading his blitz with his unarmed hand. He threw an uppercut at Shepard - easily dodged - then followed with a roundhouse slash aimed at his gut. Shepard grabbed the turian’s knife arm, then sidestepped and spun himself in a 180° arc, twisting the turian’s arm along with him. He then slammed his forearm against the turian’s exposed elbow, resulting in a dropped knife, loud crack and a painful scream. Shepard continued by slamming his boot into the turian’s knee, causing him to fall to the ground, then Shepard extended his omniblade and held it against the turian’s neck.

 

“I know you work for Saren”, Gabriel stated. “Where is he?”

 

“Go fuck yourself”, the turian growled.

 

“Is that bastard really worth dying for?” Shepard threatened.

 

“I said, go fuck yourself”, the turian repeated. Shepard calmly lashed out with his arm and severed the turian’s head.

 

_You’re lucky I made it painless. It was probably more than you deserved._

 

Shepard nodded at Ashley, who disengaged her rifle and slung it over her back. Kaidan led the quarian over to them and Gabriel quickly took a moment to inspect her. She was a young, slender bodied female and stood about a head shorter than him in height. Her bright, purple eyes glowed through her helmet, which accented her purple hood and embroidered suit. She seemed to walk with a slight limp, and clutched the side of her abdomen with one hand.

 

_Shit. She’s been hit._

 

Gabriel ran over to her, ready to apply a dose of medigel.

 

/

 

_He’s amazing._

 

Tali’Zorah was thoroughly stunned after the spectacle she had just witnessed. The human male in the onyx and crimson armour had dispatched all her assailants in the time it took her to take a few rattled breaths. Although Tali was not pleased to see more humans, they seemed like soldiers and had not threatened to kill her yet which earned some level of trust from her; however, the last human she trusted set her up to be murdered and she was not taking anymore chances. The other human male was suited in a lightweight set of dull, grey armour while the accompanying human female was encased in white and pink heavy combat armour. The human male sporting an N7 designation on his chestplate stood taller than the other two and approached her directly. 

 

“Have you been injured?” He asked.

 

“Fist set me up!” Tali insisted. “I knew I couldn’t trust him! And I’m not certain if I trust you either! Who are you?”

 

“At least let me give you some medigel”, he responded and reached out to her with his omnitool. Tali swatted his hand away from her and took a step backwards.

 

_They may have saved me, but they might also want the file._

 

“Do not come any closer”, Tali warned. “Who are you?” He raised both his hands and showed his open palms to her in submission.

 

“I swear, I’m not going to hurt you”, he reassured. “My name is Gabriel Shepard, and I’m here to save you. I found out Fist was working for Saren and he set up this ambush for you. That’s Kaidan Alenko and Ashley Williams over there - we’re Alliance soldiers - and we came as soon as we could. Now, you’re obviously injured. May I please give you some medigel?” Tali was unsure whether she could trust Gabriel and decided on caution rather than impulse.

 

“Why were you so eager to help me?” Tali demanded. Shepard paused for a few moments before answering. 

 

“I want you to trust me”, Shepard began. “So, I’ll be completely honest. You have evidence that Saren attacked Eden Prime with an army of Geth, and I need that evidence so I can present it to the citadel council. They will not believe anything I tell them without proof, and maybe if I show them the evidence you have, they’ll finally believe me. Saren needs to be taken down, and I need your help to do it. I don’t want to take the evidence from you, but I do want you to come with me.” He extended his hand out to Tali again. “I don’t know if you believe me, but please give me a chance. May I give you some medigel, then you can follow me up to the Presidium and you can speak with the human ambassador? I know it’s a lot to ask, but please trust me.”

 

_I don’t trust you, but you are definitely more than capable of killing me. Considering I’m still alive, I guess you don’t want me dead. I suppose that’s enough for me to give you a chance._

 

“I got this wound before the ambush”, Tali said while indicating her abdomen. “I’ll be fine. Let’s go see your ambassador. If what you’re telling me is true, I want the council to have the evidence as soon as possible. Keelah, I hope you’re telling me the truth…”

 

“I am a man of my word”, Shepard swore. Tali could not see his face underneath his helmet, but even if she could, she did not know what humans looked like when they lied. 


	7. Act I : Chapter V

Act I : V

 

Citadel Docking Bays

 

_No turning back._

 

Tali’Zorah was completely enthralled by the human frigate docked in front of her, but also torn between two decisions: should she continue her pilgrimage, or agree to go along with Gabriel Shepard? 

 

_Don’t be impulsive. That’s what got you into this mess. THINK._

 

Tali was out here because of her pilgrimage, nothing more and nothing less. The reason she was here now, admiring the SSV Normandy down to its most insignificant details and slowly falling in love with the ship was because of sheer dumb luck. It was pure coincidence that the Geth she had found led her here, and she did not owe anything to Gabriel, the Alliance, or anyone else. Tali thought of her father and yearned for his advice and guidance. 

 

_Do not blindly follow directions, Tali. Always think for yourself and do not allow anything else to sway your mind. A soldier that just blindly follows orders is useless to me, I might as well have a mindless drone under my command._

 

Tali did not understand her father’s words when he uttered them all those years ago, but she heard them clearly now. 

 

_Nobody can make this decision for me. I must decide on my own._

 

Keenah flashed into her mind and all her memories flooded back to life.

 

_No turning back, Tali! We’re adults now! Now, we do what we want! Remember, freedom is both a blessing and a curse._

 

Tali was definitely feeling the curse of her freedom now, and was longing for a blessing that never seemed to come. She opened her omnitool and took one last look at the Geth’s audio file, before she deleted it and erased it forever. 

 

_It’s gone. I don’t need it anymore. Keenah…I made sure you didn’t die in vain, my friend. I am sorry you did not get the funeral you deserved. You and everyone else. But I swear, I will live the rest of my adult life making sure you are not forgotten. I will keep your memory alive, Keenah._

 

Tali curled her fingers into fists, and set off towards Commander Shepard with newly found confidence and determination. He was in the middle of a conversation, his hazel eyes intently gazing at Captain Anderson while his dark brown hair lightly rustled in the breeze. Gabriel had his hair cut short, but kept it long enough for him to comb it and style it into a very handsome visage of masculine confidence. He gave off a feeling of harsh, yet protective affection, as if he would both happily sing to a baby, then fight a thresher maw to the death in order to keep it safe. His light, mocha coloured skin seemed very warm and smooth, and Tali blushed to herself and looked down at the floor as she imagined how it would feel to run her hands over his dark brown stubble. 

 

_Keelah, don’t be stupid. You’d probably be running a fever for a month if you even tried. Besides, he’s human. It would never work. How many interspecies couples were on the flotilla? NONE, and Fleet and Flotilla doesn’t count. Don’t get your hopes up, he’s being handsome for someone else, not you._

 

Tali shrugged off her brief infatuation and walked slightly closer, so that Shepard would notice she had something to say. Gabriel glanced in her direction and gave her a small nod: he had noticed her, but was busy. Tali patiently waited, happily taking the time to glance at the Normandy and inspect the hull once again. 

 

“Beautiful, isn’t she?” Gabriel declared. Tali quickly looked over to see him standing next to her now and scanning the ship with his eyes. 

 

“Well”, Tali quipped. “I’ve seen better, but I guess I’ve also seen worse. Meh, she’ll have to do. It’s Captain Anderson’s ship, isn’t it?” Gabriel smirked and nodded without altering his gaze away from the Normandy.

 

“Mine now, actually”, he answered. “That’s what Anderson and I were discussing and why I couldn’t acknowledge you right away. He was ‘handing me the keys’, I guess we could say.”

 

“Congratulations”, Tali remarked. “Try not to crash it, would you? I only just got attached to it.”  
Gabriel stopped looking at the ship and moved his eyes to look right into Tali’s.

 

“So, does that mean you decided to come with us?” Gabriel inquired. 

 

“Yes”, Tali answered. “This damn audio file may have been more trouble than it was worth, but it still is Keenah’s legacy, and I am not going to allow it to be forgotten. If it weren’t for him, I would not have been able to bring it to you, and you would still be trying to convince those idiots running this place that you’re not crazy. Well…not COMPLETELY crazy…but yes, I think the best way to carry on the legacy is to take down Saren, and I want to be there when you do it. Congratulations again, because I am going to grace you with my glorious presence for the next little while.” Gabriel gave her a quick laugh.

 

“Thank you, by the way”, he added. “I couldn’t have gotten this far without you. I’m sorry about Keenah, and there’s nothing we can do to bring him back, but I think you’re right and the only way to make this all right again is to take Saren down. That being said, I GUESS we could make some room for you aboard the Normandy…you don’t mind sleeping on the floor, right?” 

 

“Keelah!” Tali exclaimed. “Some of our ships on the flotilla are three hundred years old, and even we don’t need to sleep on the floor. I think you humans are in trouble if that’s how desperate you are!” Gabriel and Tali laughed as they walked towards the airlock.

 

“Are you sure about this?” Gabriel implored. “Once we leave, you-

 

“I swear to every damn deity out there…” Tali threatened. “If you plan on saying ‘you can’t turn back’, I will punch you right in your perfect jaw line, and you can kiss your modelling career goodbye!” Gabriel cackled as they walked onto the bridge.

 

“Alright, alright!” He laughed. “I won’t say it! I’ll show you to the crew quarters in a minute, I just need to make a quick announcement to the crew.” Gabriel turned away and walked to the cockpit, leaving Tali to admire the inside of the ship in awe.

 

_Yes, I think I made the right decision._

 

 


	8. Act I : Chapter VI

Act I : VI

 

SSV Normandy

 

Tali’Zorah woke up again with a start, as if an electric shock had jolted her awake. She frantically looked around the crew quarters, then calmed down as she slowly realized she was safe.

 

_Damn it, not again_.

 

The silence of the ship was absolutely infuriating, and constantly woke her up during her sleep cycles. From an early age, quarians were always taught how to wake up if silence was ever heard, and it soon became second nature. In the migrant fleet, a ship that operated in complete silence was usually a very bad omen. Ship engines and machinery in the flotilla ALWAYS made noise, in some shape or form. If dead silence was ever heard, it was an indication that something had stopped working - an engine or a barrier generator, whatever - and it meant red alert as the crew would hurriedly try to diagnose the problem and fix the ship before everyone died. Whenever Tali woke up to dead silence aboard the Normandy and frantically pulled herself out of her bunk, she would soon realize that everyone else in the room was still sound asleep. It would take a while for her to finally acclimatize and learn silence aboard the Normandy was indeed a GOOD thing. Tali settled back into her bunk, but soon realized she would not be getting back to sleep anytime soon. 

 

_Ugh, whatever. I’ll just go find something to do._

 

Tali climbed out of the bunk and tiredly walked into the mess hall, where a few people were still congregating, including the Commander and Ashley. She moved into the empty seat next to Gabriel and eased herself into their conversation. 

 

“Yeah, he was really old fashioned”, Gabriel was saying as he fiddled with something in his hands. Tali took a closer look and saw that he was holding a handle of some sort: it was a thin piece of alloy metal, just the perfect size to sit comfortably in Shepard’s hand. It matched his armour - onyx and crimson with a plated N7 blended seamlessly into the metal - and he twirled it casually in his hand with a combination of lightning fast reflexes and perfect balance. “He drilled it into me right from day one of N7 training.” Gabriel then jokingly put on a gruff, dominating voice. “Remember: guns can jam, run outta ammo and misfire, while electronics can shut down, turn themselves off and only work when they feel like working. Never trust your equipment, because it will always fail when you need it the most. At the end of the day, the only thing you can trust is yourself, because you’ll only stop working when you want to stop. The only exception to this rule is a good, old fashioned knife.” Gabriel stopped twirling the piece of metal in his hands and it resonated in a loud, metallic snap as a sharp, obsidian blade materialized out of it, causing everyone around the table to jump and look over at the knife in Gabriel’s hand. “Knives never jam. They never run outta ammo. They never turn off. They never stop working. As long as you keep them sharp and pretty, they’ll never let you down.” He then gently threw the knife upwards - causing it to flip end over end a few times - then flawlessly caught it and clicked the blade back into the metal handle. Gabriel noticed Tali’s unyielding stare at his knife and offered it to her. 

 

“I’ve never seen anything like it before”, Tali hummed as she inspected the handle carefully.

 

“I think we humans are the only ones to invent something like this so far”, Gabriel commented. “I have yet to find a knife like this that was crafted by someone who wasn’t human.” 

 

“Makes sense”, Tali said, without taking her eyes off the handle. “Turians have their own talons, krogan don’t really need a knife this small, asari have biotics and also don’t need knives like this…” Tali paused to unsheathe her boot knife and place it on the table. “Quarians don’t have five fingers, so a handle like this would be quite impractical. This is a pretty standard quarian utility knife: good for cutting, sawing, stabbing I guess…But I don’t understand why you’d want your knife to fold into itself like that…bosh’tet, how do I open the blade?!” Tali fumbled with Gabriel’s knife, trying very hard to flick the blade open, but was embarrassingly unsuccessful. Gabriel reached over and placed his hand gingerly over her’s - causing Tali’s cheeks to burn and her heart skipped a beat - then snapped the blade open with a flick of his thumb. The knife was matte black - forged out of obsidian - with a sharp, shiny single edge. The bottom half of the blade was serrated with sawteeth, while the top half near the point was sharpened to such an extent, Tali was genuinely worried it would breach her suit armour if she tried to touch the sharp edge. She would never consider using such an awkward tool; however, the knife was superbly crafted in every aspect and beautiful in its own unique way. 

 

“The handle is clearly built for a human hand”, Tali observed. “I doubt anyone else would even think about using such a weird knife…”

 

“Hey, I saw you eyeing it!” Gabriel accused. “Don’t pretend you didn’t like it! You definitely enjoyed looking it over!” Tali managed to fold his knife back into its metal housing, then snapped the blade open, mimicking the thumb flick Gabriel had used. 

 

“Well…” Tali began. “I’ll admit, it makes a cool sound. That’s it, though. Other than that, it’s pretty much inferior to every other knife in existence. Would you like to borrow mine until we get you a new one?” Tali giggled thoroughly as Gabriel snatched his knife back and folded it, giving her a mischievous smirk.

 

“I’ll remember your mean comments about my knife the next time you’re cornered in an alley and need help”, Gabriel teased. “Then you’ll change your mind…however, I guess I keep it more for sentiment than actual utility. I mean, an omniblade is better in almost every way, but I’ll be glad I have this little guy if an EMP ever goes off!”

 

“Shepard”, Tali sighed. “Your omnitool is military grade and EMP resistant. It will only ever stop working if someone cuts your entire arm off…” 

 

“Are you guessing, or speaking from personal experience?” Gabriel retorted. 

 

“Guessing”, Tali sassed. “But try and message me on your omnitool the next time your arm gets amputated! It’ll be a cool science experiment.” The entire mess hall had been listening to the conversation and everyone broke out in laughter, with Shepard laughing the loudest. 

 

“Tali, you belong here!” Ashley laughed. “Anyone that can successfully roast the commander is in my good books!”

 

“HEY!” Gabriel exclaimed, starting another bout of laughter. Tali was entirely enthralled by Gabriel’s laughter: the way his voice raised itself, and the shape his mouth made when he threw his head backwards to laugh was absolutely intoxicating, she knew she would have joined him in laughter even if she was in a bad mood. 

 

_If only he was a quarian…_

Tali immediately looked down at her knife, grateful nobody could see her blushing underneath her helmet. She picked it up and shoved it back into her boot, shrugging off the warm sensation in her cheeks and ears. 

 

“Have you been practicing your shooting, Tali?” Ashley inquired. Gabriel raised an eyebrow and looked over at her with curiosity. 

 

“Tali? Shooting?” He teased. “Please tell me she’s at least a better shot than me! I don’t want holes in my new ship!” Tali tried her best to keep her gaze on Gabriel and Ashley, fighting the urge to look away and blush again. Ashley had been coaching her through basic firearm training, but even with a small pistol, she could not seem to get the hang of it. She had been told to continue practicing, but neglected the task as she did not feel confident, and would rather spend her time in the engineering room with Engineer Adams. Tali was confident in saying she was a savant when it game to electronics and mechanical stuff - Engineer Adams would definitely agree with her - but guns was something she really did not have a knack for. 

 

“Please”, Ashley joked. “NOBODY could be worse than you…commander.”

 

“Oh!” Gabriel cried out. “The abuse! The terrible abuse! Thank you, Ashley, I shall remember you in my weekly performance reviews!” He laughed before looking at Tali and continuing. “So? How’s the marksmanship going, Tali?” 

 

_I need to impress him…but I also don’t want to lie to him…_

 

“Well…” Tali started. “We haven’t been sucked out of a hull breach yet, so I guess I’m doing pretty well!” Ashley and Gabriel laughed her comment off and continued discussing N7 training. 

 

_Keelah, I guess I should go practice…_

 

Tali grudgingly excused herself, blushing as Gabriel gave her a wide grin and flashed his perfect teeth in a heartwarming smile.

 

_Damn it. Nevermind, I wish I was human instead._

 


	9. Act I : Chapter VII

Act I : VII

 

SSV Normandy 

 

_Bosh’tet!_

 

Tali’Zorah felt a furious urge to throw her M-3 Predator into the nearby wall, then simply turn around and leave the shooting range. 

 

_This is a load of crap!_

 

Tali was absolutely livid that the inanimate target placed a few yards away from her seemed to be evading all her shots, and even seemed to move when she was not looking. She knew it was silly, the target obviously was incapable of moving; however, blaming the target for her horrendous aim was far easier than admitting she was a terrible marksman. Tali had tried her best to follow all of Ashley’s instructions: “Don’t hold your breath, don’t brace your arms for the recoil and simply allow it to push back into your shoulders, keep your body perpendicular to the shot’s arc, don’t sneeze or close your eyes…” Tali tried EVERYTHING, but was always unsuccessful. She reset the target and ejected the thermal clip from her pistol, ready for another round.

 

_At least ONE of these has to hit the damn thing!_

 

Tali unloaded the entire clip into the target, reorienting herself after every shot: alas, the target remained untouched yet again, causing Tali to throw her pistol to the ground in frustration. She then jumped in shock as a deep, rumbling laugh snapped her out of her fury and she turned around to find the source. Urdnot Wrex slowly walked towards her, chuckling with a teasing smile on his face. 

 

“I’d say I’ve seen worse…” Wrex sneered. “But that would be a lie. You’ve got to be the worst shot I’ve ever met, and I’ve seen a drunk volus try and shoot his way out of an ambush.” He continued chuckling in his deep, rumbling throat. 

 

“I could say the same about your face”, Tali spat. “I’d say I’ve seen worse, but I’d also be lying, and I’ve met Ambassador Udina. You’re ugly enough to make HIM attractive.” Wrex’s laugh became a thundering cackle as he eased himself onto a wall near Tali and leaned his back onto it.

 

“Ha!” Wrex laughed. “That bastard is one ugly motherfucker! It takes a quad to insult a krogan like that! You’ve got guts, kid, and I respect that. Tell you what, just cuz I like you, I’m gonna show you a little krogan secret…” Wrex walked towards Tali - causing her to take a step backwards and brace herself - but when he reached her, he bent down and retrieved her pistol, fumbling it with his oversized hands. Tali tried her absolute hardest to hold back laughter as Wrex’s fingers were too big to even hold the Predator properly. 

 

“Piece of shit”, he spat. “You’ll never see a self respecting krogan ever pick one of these up, they’re too fucking flimsy. No wonder you can’t shoot shit with it.” Wrex effortlessly crushed the pistol into scrap in his hand, and Tali watched as small bits of circuitry and metal fell to the ground in pieces. He then walked over to the armoury, rummaged around for a few moments then returned with a sealed weapon case.

 

“I hope you’re planning to replace that”, Tali sassed. “I can’t really afford another one on my current salary…if Shepard gave me a raise of five credits, I’d be making a grand total of five credits…”

 

“No, I’m not replacing that piece of crap”, Wrex grunted as he opened the weapon case. “I told you, I’m showing you a krogan secret.” Inside the case was a disassembled shotgun - an M-23 Katana - and Wrex began piecing it together. 

 

“Listen up, quarian”, Wrex ordered. 

 

“You’re not my dad!” Tali interjected. “I’ll listen to you, but not because you told me to…I’m listening because I want to. Hurry up and tell your story, old man.” 

 

“Now you listen here, missy!” Wrex retorted and looked up from the half assembled shotgun, pointing an accusing finger towards Tali. “I may not be your dad, but if I was, you’d be short a few teeth and a pint of blood right about now! So watch that tongue of yours before I wash it out with ryncol! Now, shut up and listen to what old uncle Urdnot has to say.” Tali let out an annoyingly, exaggerated groan and slowly moved closer to Wrex and the now fully assembled shotgun. 

 

“Alright, old man”, Tali jested. “What’s this amazing krogan secret you need to show me so badly?” Wrex primed the katana, loaded a fresh thermal clip into it and charged the thermal sink before standing up. 

 

“Follow me, quarian”, Wrex ordered.

 

“It’s TALI”, she emphasized. 

 

“You don’t get to be called a proper name until you prove yourself, whelp”, Wrex chastised. “So until then, shut it.” Tali rolled her eyes and followed Wrex over to the target, which he reset to around fifteen yards away. He held the shotgun with one hand outwards towards Tali and beckoned her to come closer. She cautiously advanced towards the towering giant and waited for him to continue.

 

_Remember, you have no reason whatsoever to trust him. We’ll hear what he’s going to say out of curiosity, but do not trust him. We don’t know what his plan is, so assume he’s intending to hurt you._

 

“Alright, whelp”, he barked. “Hold the handle with your right hand, and place your other hand on the underside, near the sink charge.” Tali obeyed and placed her hands accordingly. “Alright, I’m going to stop lifting the weight of the gun now. I’ll keep my hand on the top, but you’re going to be lifting it now. Ready?” Tali nodded and instantly felt the weight of the shotgun drop onto her hands. The katana was not painfully heavy, but was not exactly easy to lift either, especially if she was going to be using it for extended periods of time. At the very least, it was not awkwardly large in her grip and it was a rather comfortable weapon to hold, despite the weight. 

 

“Now, shoot the target”, Wrex ordered. “I will not help you aim, my arm is here just to make sure you don’t blow a shoulder out, or something.” 

 

“What?!” Tali yelped.

 

“For fuck’s sake, just shoot the damn thing!” Wrex snapped. “I don’t have all day, hurry it up!” 

 

Tali nervously looked at the target, then down to the shotgun in her hands. A strange combination of fear and curiosity welled up inside her. She took a quick glance into Wrex’s eyes and saw that he was staring at her intently, as if she was the only thing in the room of particular interest. Tali honestly believed Wrex cared about her personal safety, and although she did not trust the krogan whatsoever, she was beginning to second guess herself. 

 

_I don’t know what he’s planning. If this is an elaborate joke or prank, he’s definitely trying really hard to play his part…Well, this is what the pilgrimage is about, I guess. Whatever way this is going to end, I’m going to learn something: either I learn to trust this krogan, or I learn this krogan can’t be trusted. Only one way to find out…_

 

Tali’s new determination made her grip the shotgun tighter and bring the sights to her eye level.

 

_Let’s do this._

 

She pulled the trigger and the shotgun boomed with a resounding bang as it fired a volley of shrapnel towards the target. Wrex humbly chuckled as the target was obviously peppered with small chunks of debris, and Tali felt instantly elevated that she finally achieved satisfaction from hitting the target.

 

“Good”, Wrex praised. “Again.” He activated three more targets, which Tali brought down in a similar fashion, adjusting her aim after each shot. Wrex beamed and activated another lone target, but then took his hand off the top of the katana. 

 

“So”, he began. “That was the krogan secret. You don’t need to aim with a shotgun, you just need to know how to shoot. Congratulations, you’re well on your way to becoming an honorary krogan; but, let’s see if you can handle the full brunt of the recoil before we start patting shoulders. Shoot the target, just like you’ve been doing so far, but don’t brace for the recoil or you WILL throw out a shoulder. Just let the shotgun do its thing.” Tali anxiously swallowed before sighting down the last target, then pulled the trigger.

 

_KEELAH! THAT HURT!_

 

The katana boomed again, but launched itself backwards into Tali’s shoulder with such force that she was knocked off balanced and fell to the ground, cradling her bruised arm. She sobbed in inconceivable agony while Wrex’s thundering laughter continued in the background. 

 

_Bosh’tet! I knew I shouldn’t have trusted him! Bastard!_

 

When Tali was finally able to sit up without spasming in pain, she turned to the krogan with gritted teeth and was about to yell at him; however, she was completely taken back as he knelt down next to her and beamed happily. 

 

“Nice shot”, he complimented. “But obviously, that shotgun is a little too much for you. Don’t be upset, if you were a krogan you’d be fine. We just need to find something a quarian can handle. Anyway, take this.” Wrex reached into his belt and pulled out a small dose of medigel, then offered it to her. “That shoulder probably feels a lot worse than it actually is, but you’ll want this before we try again.” Tali shrugged and snatched it playfully out of Wrex’s hand.

 

“I’m still mad at you!” She quipped. “But thanks, grandpa.” Wrex huffed in irritation as he picked up the katana and began dismantling it, while Tali applied the medigel through a diffusion port on her suit. Wrex returned the katana to the armoury in its case and returned with another weapon case. He sat down next to her and showed her how to assemble the M-27 Scimitar, carefully going through each individual part and the process of assembly. When it was complete, Tali picked it up and tested the grip. The scimitar was still slightly heavy, but not nearly as heavy as the katana; in fact, it seemed comfortable enough for her to use indefinitely. It was slightly bulkier as well, but still easily sat in her hands, ready to be fired. With Wrex’s supervision, she primed the shotgun, loaded a thermal clip and charged the thermal sink. Tali pressed the butt of the stock onto her recovering shoulder, which pinged with a small amount of pain, but was otherwise comfortable. She nodded to Wrex, who nodded back and activated another lone target. 

 

_BANG_

 

The target was adequately covered with more shrapnel, while Tali remained on her feet with the scimitar still in her grip, ready to be fired again. Wrex exploded in a hearty laugh, then activated three more targets and Tali disposed of them accordingly. Tali ejected the thermal clip, then looked down at the combat shotgun that had definitely earned her affection. 

 

_THIS is my kind of gun!_

 

Wrex walked over to her and placed a gentle hand on her other shoulder.

 

“Nice shooting, Tali”, he beamed. “Just don’t tell anyone krogan can’t actually aim, and that’s why we all use shotguns…” 

 

“I would never dream of divulging such sensitive information!” Tali said with a mischievous undertone.

 

_He called me Tali._

 

Tali beamed underneath her helmet, feeling very accomplished and confident: she was finally good enough to earn someone’s respect. 


	10. Act I : Chapter VIII

Act I : VIII

 

Feros

 

Tali’Zorah watched in satisfaction as the last Geth trooper tumbled to the ground, beheaded by Gabriel Shepard’s omniblade. Kaidan disengaged his M-5 Phalanx and walked over to join them, standing ready for orders. Tali thought Kaidan took things a little too seriously - he was also socially awkward and did not seem to know when Tali was joking around, usually misinterpreting her sarcasm as abrasiveness - but, she liked his naive character and thought he was definitely smart when it counted. Gabriel nodded to both of them and led the way, deeper into the tunnels. 

 

“Shepard?” Tali inquired. “We’ve been through a few firefights now, and not once have I seen you use a gun. I know you have one, but is there a reason you run around stabbing people instead? I mean, you look more like a pyjak hyped up on red sand than Alliance elite forces…” 

 

“The Commander just enjoys showing off his propulsion jets…” Kaidan pointed out. “Nothing wrong with that, right?” Tali’s eyes widened in shock and she stared over at Kaidan. 

 

_Did…did he just make a joke?_

 

“Kaidan!” Tali bubbled. “Was that a joke? From you?! I’m so impressed! That was funny!”

 

“I have no idea what you mean…” Kaidan snickered. “I’m just making an innocent comment.” He smirked at Tali and she laughed. 

 

_He’s learning…Oh, this will be fun._

 

“I do love me some red sand!” Gabriel quipped. “But yeah…so, remember when Ashley made that comment about how nobody could be a worse shot than me? She wasn’t kidding: I am a TERRIBLE shot, I’m even worse than YOU are!” 

 

“Hey!” Tali exclaimed. The party laughed as they reached an inactive water pump and Kaidan knelt down next to it in order to diagnose the problem. 

 

“Anyway”, Gabriel continued. “The way I got around that was by playing to my strengths. I can’t aim, so I get in close and deal with problems in a more intimate manner. I use my biotics and CQC training to compensate for the fact that I can’t hit a target, even if it was close enough enough for me to punch! So, I ditch the gun and just punch the damn thing instead. I’m familiar with every human martial art in existence, and I’m even pretty good at a few turian and asari techniques. A drell even taught me a few things at some point, so I pretty much get close to my targets as soon as possible so I won’t need a gun. Like Kaidan pointed out, my propulsion jets definitely help out with that! They’re definitely not standard issue, your chances of finding another person with armour propulsion systems is pretty low. Usually it’s only given to EVA specialists who spend a lot of their time outside in upper atmospheres or deep space, but being an N7 has its perks and I was able to ‘borrow’ my kit with a special requisition. Obviously, there will be time I have no choice and I’ll need a gun, but that’s why my N7 Hurricane is my best friend: it shoots so rapidly, I don’t even need to aim!” Gabriel primed his submachine gun and fired off a short burst into a short cement pillar, but it fired the rounds in such rapid succession, the gun sounded like it only fired one shot instead of the fifteen ish bullets that ricocheted off the cement.

 

“Wow”, Tali marvelled. “You weren’t kidding. That gun does shoot really fast…also, I’m shocked you actually managed to hit the pillar. I expected you to miss.” 

 

“Ummm…I wasn’t aiming for the pillar”, Gabriel mumbled. “I was aiming for the wall behind it…” Tali and Gabriel burst out in hysterical laughter and she had to grip the wall for support while Gabriel fell to the ground clutching his sides. 

 

“If you two are quite finished…” Kaidan interjected. “I think this water pump is good to go.” Gabriel jumped back up and beckoned the squad to follow him. Tali caught up to him and followed him closely, matching the pace of his slow march. She enjoyed being close enough to be able to reach out and touch his arm. 

 

_I’m not in love with him…I just like being close to him so I can keep an eye on him. He’s a terrible shot and I need to be ready to shoot things for him. Plus, he’s a good leader and I shouldn’t stray TOO far away from him. What if he needs to tell me something? Yeah, it’s just logical to be near him, I’m NOT in love with him. One day I’ll find another quarian as handsome as he is and I’ll completely forget about him._

 

Tali sadly looked down at her boots as she kept up with her commander. She knew she was denying her infatuation with Gabriel, but denial was far easier than accepting she would never be able to have him to herself. 

 

_Don’t be stupid, Tali. He’s HUMAN. It would never work out, Keelah, you can’t even eat the same food. Even IF Gabriel was a quarian, why would he want you? He’s insanely handsome, confident, intelligent, funny, charismatic…He has SO much to offer. And what do you have? Your own people won’t even want you unless you prove yourself to be useful. You have no friends other than everyone aboard the Normandy, and most of them only like you because they HAVE to. It’s a crew: there’s nothing to gain by disliking someone. The only person you’ve met on your pilgrimage so far who seems to respect you is an old krogan, who would probably sell you for a bottle of ryncol. Face it, you’re nobody. Why would ANYONE want you, let alone the most handsome man in the galaxy?_

 

Tali fought back tears as her eyes began to water, but she still continued to deny her situation. She gazed longingly at Gabriel, who was alert and his helmet only slightly moved around, enough for her to see he was keeping an eye out for trouble. Tali then glanced over to Kaidan, who looked back at her and gave her a genuine smile. She returned the smile through her faceplate. 

 

_Well, maybe I do have friends. Gabriel may not feel the same way about me, but I know we’re at least friends, and everyone else on the ship hasn’t given me a reason to hate them. Okay. I have friends. I’m SOMEBODY, at the very least._

 

Tali froze as Gabriel extended his arm out and she bumped softly into the back of his forearm. Her cheeks burned as she curiously tried to catch his eye, wondering why he had barred her from moving. 

 

“I hear something”, Gabriel whispered. “It’s not friendly.” Tali immediately primed her scimitar along with Kaidan as he readied his pistol. A few tense moments passed as the party carefully examined the tunnels, alert for any sign of movement. Tali felt like an eternity had passed before Gabriel seemed to relax. 

 

“I swear, I heard something…” he claimed. “Be careful, it’ll be back.”

 

“Is your hearing crappy now too?” Tali teased. “Perfect, now you can’t aim or listen. Should I take over as commander?” 

 

“You’ll have to kill me first!” Gabriel chuckled. “Besides, YOU as commander? Please, you’d lead us straight into a black hole and blame it on Kaidan.” 

 

“Well…” Tali began. “You’re not wrong…”

 

_/_

 

Commander Gabriel Shepard had definitely been in worse situations, but the three krogan mercenaries standing a few metres away spelled trouble for the team. Tali and Kaidan bunkered down behind him as he surveyed the room and thought about his options. The krogans were heavily armoured, but even their heavy battle gear had fault zones around the arms and legs. A well placed omniblade would be able to pierce through the gaps in their plated armour, but they were still krogan: redundant organs and high pain tolerance would not give a stab wound much importance. The only vulnerable place Gabriel could see was their necks, which were armoured with lightweight meshes, allowing unrestricted movement. An omniblade would penetrate that thin layer of protection and slice through their exposed necks. Krogan might be almost indestructible, but severed jugulars and pulmonary arteries were still fatal, and they were not immune to blood loss or pierced tracheas. Gabriel would need to get in dangerously close, enough to open up their necks, but he would also be close enough for them to grapple him. His advantage was his speed: the krogan were slow and uncoordinated, and would only cause harm if they managed to catch him. He would just ensure they did not get the chance. Gabriel took a slow, deliberate breath and thought to himself in silence.

 

_Don’t be overconfident. Confidence is GOOD, overconfidence gets people killed._

 

Gabriel was confident he could take down ONE of them, but three simultaneously was just pure bravado. He opened the team’s comm link.

 

“Alright, here’s the plan”, he started. “I’m going to charge in there and catch them off guard. I can keep two of them occupied, but I’ll need help with the third. I’ll rush the one on the extreme left and take down his shield, both of you focus on taking him down while I deal with his friends. Sound good?”

 

“Yes, sir”, Kaidan acknowledged. 

 

“We’ll make sure you don’t die”, Tali added. Gabriel nodded and launched himself into the air with his thrusters, then used his biotics to charge into the krogan on the left. He slammed his shoulder into the giant mass of muscle, breaking through his shields and staggering him, while the other two primed their shotguns. Gabriel dived out of the way, hearing Tali and Kaidan fire a volley into the krogan he hit. He rolled back onto his feet as the krogan fell to the ground, covered in orange blood and bullet holes; however, Gabriel knew that would not keep the krogan down for long, and he had to work fast. He then activated his omniblade and lashed his arm out towards the nearest krogan, hitting his mark and showering himself in more orange blood as the krogan gurgled and clutched his lacerated throat, before crumpling to the ground. Unfortunately, the final krogan was already enraged, and sprinted into Gabriel with extreme prejudice. He bulldozed his way into him, and Gabriel was flung backwards with the wind knocked out of him: he felt as if he had been hit by a speeding car. Gabriel was pummelled into the ground and struggled to stand upright before the krogan pressed his advantage. 

 

_Alright…Maybe this WAS a little overconfident…_

 

Gabriel was on his feet now and raised his fists, staring down the huge brute in front of him. The krogan charged forwards again, lowering his head and preparing a very dangerous looking headbutt. Gabriel primed his submachine gun and instead of diving out of the way, he rolled forwards to place himself underneath the charging krogan. He then unloaded the entire thermal clip into the unsuspecting brute’s underside, shredding his shields and peppering his belly with bullets. Although Gabriel did not manage to cause any bleeding, he did manage to penetrate at least part of the armour, and the krogan stumbled forwards to slowly turn around with an obvious limp. Gabriel activated his omniblade and used his biotics to charge the krogan again, this time leading his charge with his extended blade. He drove his arm into the krogan’s wounded belly, penetrating the armour and driving the entire length of the blade into the soft tissue. The krogan bent over in pain and attempted to wrench Gabriel’s arm away, but Gabriel anticipated the action and pulled his omniblade out of the krogan before he could do anything. Gabriel then spun himself backwards in a half circle, bringing his arm around in an underhanded swing, then swiped his forearm upwards and used the rest of his momentum to slash open the krogan’s neck. Deep, orange blood gushed out of the wound and splattered over his helmet’s visor - blinding Gabriel - as he took a few steps backwards to wipe the mess off and restore his vision. 

 

_BANG_

 

Gabriel was heaved backwards and he fell to the floor, with his barrier disabled. The first krogan had risen to his feet and fired his shotgun, squarely hitting Gabriel in the chest and smashing through his barrier. He gasped in shock and was disoriented by the sudden attack, frantically trying to stand up. The krogan drove a heavy boot into Gabriel’s face and his head snapped backwards in blinding pain, sending him sliding a few feet backwards into a wall. The orange gore was now gone from his visor, but now Gabriel’s eyes had trouble focussing as the blunt trauma he had just endured shook him and blurred his vision. Gabriel was able to narrowly focus on the krogan as he pumped another thermal clip into the shotgun and charged it for another shot. 

 

_Oh, shit._

 

Gabriel hurriedly sat upright but was unable to get to his feet before the krogan aimed his shotgun.

 

_BANG_

 

The shot missed, wildly flying into the ceiling as Tali had rushed forward and slammed the krogan’s arm upwards with her own shotgun. He recovered quickly and smashed the shotgun out of Tali’s hands, sending her recoiling in pain. He threw a punch towards her head, but she limberly ducked and drew her boot knife. Tali then thrust her knife into the krogan’s arm, causing him to drop his shotgun in pain. She attempted to pull her knife out, but the krogan was too fast, and hammered his giant head into Tali’s faceplate, shattering the tempered, diamond-hard glass into a million pieces that showered the vicinity. Tali collapsed to the ground and stopped moving.

 

“TALI!” Gabriel shouted. She did not respond and remained completely still, causing Gabriel to panic.

 

Kaidan sprinted forward and unloaded his pistol into the krogan’s head. It was enough for him to stumble backwards in pain, but not enough to put him down.

 

_Fuck, how much can this thing handle?!_

 

Gabriel was still unable to rise to his feet, but knew he had to do something. Kaidan’s biotics were not optimized for CQC, and he was not adequately trained in hand-to-hand. Kaidan reloaded and began unloading another clip into the krogan, but he ignored being peppered with gunfire and charged towards Kaidan, ragdolling him into the wall. Gabriel got to his knees and used his thruster jets to launch himself towards the krogan. He torpedoed into the brute’s knees and joined him in crumpling to the ground in a disorganized heap. The krogan’s head was in arm’s reach, but his omnitool arm was caught underneath the krogan, so without hesitating, Gabriel flicked open his knife and stabbed it into the krogan’s neck. He grunted in pain and attempted to pull the blade out, but Gabriel mercilessly began sawing open the giant’s throat while orange blood spurted out in increasing amounts. He kept going - refusing to stop, even when the krogan stopped moving - and gradually carved open the entire width of the neck, showering himself with blood and gore. Only when Gabriel felt the tip of his knife begin to scuff into armour did he finally stop and wrench himself out from underneath the dead krogan. He looked towards Kaidan to see him slumped against the wall, but he waved a hand back at Gabriel to signal he was okay, so Gabriel rushed to Tali’s side.

 

_Oh, god…_

 

Tali’s faceplate was completely obliterated, exposing her face underneath. Gabriel could tell she was still breathing, but in short, horrible, wheezing breaths. He did not hesitate: Gabriel frantically cleaned off his forearms and hands with concentrated omnigel, then wrenched off Tali’s faceplate and threw it aside, before pulling off the remainder of her helmet, allowing her long, elegant black hair to spill out onto her shoulders. He then quickly disengaged the vacuum seals on his own helmet and snapped the airlock open. Gabriel pulled off his helmet and gently gathered Tali’s soft hair into a messy bun, before placing his own helmet over her beautiful face. He closed the airlock and reset all the vacuum seals, inspecting his handiwork to ensure none of Tali’s skin was exposed to the air. When he was satisfied, Gabriel breathed a deep sigh and rose clumsily to his feet, stumbling over to where Kaidan was. 

 

“Is she okay, Commander?” Kaidan inquired. 

 

“I honestly don’t know”, Gabriel admitted. “She’s still alive and breathing, but I don’t have a medical degree in quarian physiology. My helmet should keep her stable, but it’s definitely not a clean enough environment for her. We need to get her back to Doctor Chakwas before she gets worse. Are YOU okay, Kaidan?”

 

“Don’t worry”, Kaidan reassured. “I can walk this off. But you’re right, she needs to get back to the Normandy, ASAP. You could also use a physical, Commander, I think you hit your head a little too hard.” Kaidan pointed at Gabriel’s head and he quickly ran his hand over his forehead and skull, then looked down at his palm to see a small amount of red blood. 

 

“Fuck”, Gabriel swore. “I hope it didn’t get into my helmet. Who knows how Tali is going to react to someone else’s blood. She’s in enough trouble already.” Kaidan grimly nodded as Gabriel walked back over to Tali, the immense guilt of his decision finally dawning on him.

 

_If she dies, it’ll be completely my fault. I shouldn’t have tried to take on three of those bastards._

 

“Kaidan”, Gabriel ordered. “Whenever you’re ready, pull that damn data off the console so we can return it to that scientist, I’d hate to leave empty-handed and have this all be for nothing.” He knelt down and gently pulled Tali’s limp body into his arms, carrying her off the ground and turning towards the exit. Gabriel cradled her as he walked towards the Mako, leaving Kaidan to deal with retrieving the data. 

 

_You better not die on me, Tali…I can’t handle another death on my conscience._

 

 

 

 


	11. Act I : Chapter IX

_A brief note to my irreplaceable reader,_

 

_First off, I would like to sincerely apologize for taking such a long, unplanned break from updating this work. Hopefully, you did not really care to begin with, but if that is not the case, my wish is that I will be able to earn your forgiveness through writing more content for you. I have no excuse to offer, other than my workplace and career has been too demanding over the last two months, and I was unable to write as much as I would have liked to; however, I am seeking to jump back onto the metaphorical mechanical bull. With the start of December, I now have more free time to devote back to you, and I hope to keep it that way permanently. Please stay tuned for more updates and content!_

 

_I would also like to make a brief announcement concerning social media. If you happen to follow my Facebook, Reddit and/or Tumblr pages, it is quite obvious the message above was copied and pasted (sorry…it was for efficiency and consistency, I promise!) Furthermore, I plan to continue updating those pages, with the exception of Tumblr. As you may already know, Tumblr is planning to begin censoring all content flagged as “adult”, or “NSFW”. I do not approve of this; therefore, I will be retiring my Tumblr page effective immediately after this chapter is uploaded. It will remain active, but I will stop updating the page. If you have any suggestions for similar websites for alternatives to Tumblr, please feel free to let me know using any of my contact information available (Facebook, Reddit, Private Messages, ETC) and as always: any feedback, concerns, criticisms or conversation is welcome at any time! Please do not hesitate to contact me, even if you would just like to say hi, or let me know what a huge disappointment I am!_

 

_This work, and all my work, is always dedicated to you. Thanks for putting up with me!_

 

_~AltF5_

 

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Act I : IX

 

Feros 

 

_What…what happened? Where am I?_

 

Tali’Zorah groggily opened her eyes, sickly disoriented and confused, but she was too fatigued to panic. The first thing she noticed was her HUD: it was obviously not her’s. The colour scheme was blue instead of her familiar purple, filled with icons and elements which were not in native quarian.

 

_What the hell?_

 

The next thing she noticed was the distinct odour: the musky scent of sweat was present, but was not pungent enough that she needed to gag; however, it was not exactly an enticing smell either. Mixed into this off-putting odour was the faint trace of a sweeter, more appealing smell which Tali focussed on identifying. It was not a natural scent - it was undoubtedly an artificial scent that was engineered to smell the way it did - although, it was sweet, but also bold and harsh at the same time. She vaguely recognized this scent, her olfactory simulators in her helmet had given her an impression of it before, but only now was she able to truly smell it through her own nose. 

 

_This is Gabriel’s cologne…_

 

Tali now vividly recalled all the times she had noticed this scent when she was around the Commander, happily coming to the conclusion that she was wearing Gabriel’s helmet. She tiredly smiled to herself, but her relief was short-lived as a huge bump shook her fully awake. 

 

_Wait…why am I wearing his helmet?_

 

She went into a coughing fit and tried to sit upright, but her head began to ache painfully and she could now feel she was suffering from a fever, which would explain her fatigue. Tali continued coughing and wheezing for a few moments before another bump made her realize she was in the Mako. 

 

_Oh, Keelah…as if the fever wasn’t enough to handle, now I’ll get motion sick too. Shepard will kill me if I vomit inside his helmet…but then again, the look on his face would be worth it._

 

“Well, he won’t be a problem anymore!” Gabriel chuckled.

 

“Commander…” Kaidan began. “I think you are enjoying running over Geth a little TOO much.”

 

“Preposterous”, Gabriel snickered. 

 

“No, I think Shepard is just a bad driver”, Tali coughed. The Mako abruptly coasted into a full stop and Gabriel left the driver’s seat to crawl over to her.

 

“Oh, thank god you’re awake”, he breathed. “Kaidan, take the wheel! We were worried sick about you. How are you feeling?” The Mako started to move again as Tali dramatically collapsed back onto her seat and reached her hand outwards towards Gabriel.

 

“Gabriel, my love, please tell Engineer Adams I died like a hero”, Tali jokingly swooned, blushing inside Shepard’s helmet as she did. 

 

“Not the time, Tali!” Gabriel scolded. Tali coughed and gagged again before sitting upright.

 

“Shepard, you’re no fun”, Tali commented.

 

“Tali, you almost died”, Gabriel chastised. “Now isn’t the time to be joking around! Now, are you okay?! You sound like you’re going to cough out a lung!” Tali became frustrated with herself as she chose that moment to start another coughing fit. Although she was quite content with all the attention Gabriel was giving her, she did not want him to excessively worry about her. Tali admitted she was delicate, but not fragile and she could take care of herself. 

 

“I’m alright, Shepard”, Tali reassured. “Thanks for asking. Why am I wearing your helmet?”

 

“You took a krogan headbutt to the face”, Gabriel reported. “It completely shattered your faceplate and this was the only idea I had. I know it’s not ideal, but it was definitely better than the alternative. We tried to call the Normandy for a pick up, but the colonists have gone absolutely insane and they’ve locked the Normandy into the dock. We need to get you back there ASAP, but that means going through the colony. Some Exogeni scientists gave us a nerve toxin to safely incapacitate the colonists, but we still need to fight our way through. We’re almost back at Zhu’s Hope, so just stay in the Mako, try not to move and let us know if you’re getting worse, okay?” Tali shook her head and looked around for her scimitar.

 

“You’re not leaving me here”, Tali argued. “I can still move. Where’s my shotgun?” She tried to crawl out of her seat, but Gabriel placed his hands on her shoulders and stopped her from moving.

 

“Tali”, Gabriel enforced. “You are staying here. Do not make me pull rank.”

 

“I’m not in the Alliance”, Tali snapped. “You can’t order me around, so where’s my shotgun?” Tali began coughing again and her breathing was becoming more and more ragged.

 

“Tali!” Gabriel barked. “You do not need the damn shotgun because you are going to stay here!” The Mako rumbled into a halt and Kaidan crawled out of the driver’s seat to open the crew hatch.

 

“We’re here, Commander!” Kaidan called out. “What’s our plan?”

 

“You’re staying here, Tali”, Gabriel ordered. “That’s final.” He started to crawl away, but Tali gabbed his hand and caused him to turn around to face her again. 

 

“Shepard”, Tali gasped. “If you leave me here and I get worse, I’ll be alone without help. You need to bring me with you so you can keep an eye on me. Give me my shotgun so at the very least, I can defend myself in case we get separated. It’s just logical, there really isn’t any reason to leave me here.”

 

“With all due respect, Commander”, Kaidan added. “She’s right. Tali’s in no condition to fight, but we can’t just leave her here. The Mako is safe, but she’s sick and needs medical attention, not a safe place to hide.” Shepard groaned and reached over to pull Tali’s scimitar off a weapon rack on the wall, then held it out towards her.

 

“I guess you’re both right”, Gabriel conceded. “But you better not die, Tali, or I’ll be pissed.” He bent down to pull Tali into his arms and carried her out of the Mako. As Gabriel cradled her to the barricaded entrance, Tali loaded a thermal clip and charged her scimitar. 

 

“I’ll shoot, you just worry about keeping us alive”, she suggested. “I feel like I have the galaxy’s worst hangover, but I’m still a better shot than you. Just keep your barrier up. Deal?” Gabriel smirked and rolled his eyes, giving Tali a worried, but confident glare. 

 

“Alright”, he smiled. “Just remember not to shoot any colonists. Oh, and try not to sneeze inside my helmet. It’s a bitch to clean.”

 

“Too late”, Tali teased. “You probably should have mentioned that a while ago. Besides, this is MY helmet now. You’ll have to get another one, cuz I’m not giving it back.” 

 

/

 

Commander Gabriel Shepard slammed his back behind a stone wall for cover, taking a moment to catch his breath and adjust his hold on Tali. They had made it back to the heart of Zhu’s Hope colony, which was now a clusterfuck of mind-controlled colonists, Thorian zombie…things and a few leftover Geth. Gabriel could handle all the surprises the planet would throw at him, but he was primarily concerned about Tali’s worsening condition. Her coughing fits had now become rattling dry heaves, and her entire body would tremble with every breath she took. She had also become unfit to fire her shotgun, which left her almost lifeless in Gabriel’s arms and they were both relying on Kaidan for covering fire. Gabriel would unleash his biotics whenever he could, but throwing gas grenades and shooting those Thorian zombies was mostly Kaidan’s responsibility.

 

“Tali?” Gabriel asked for what must have been the hundredth time. “Status?”

 

“I’m…” Tali rasped. “Still…alive…kinda…not really…”

 

_She can never take anything seriously, but at least she’s still talking._

 

Gabriel knew time was definitely not on their side, and it would only be a matter of minutes before Tali succumbed to her sickness. They needed to get back to the Normandy, NOW.

 

“Commander?” Kaidan called out from behind the railing he was crouching behind. “I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but this is my last gas grenade. I still see a few colonists left…What’s the plan?”

 

_Shit._

 

Without the gas grenades, there would be no way to take down the colonists without straight up gunning them down. Gabriel would either need a miracle, or a VERY smart plan. 

 

“Kaidan, pass me the grenade!” Gabriel ordered. Kaidan lobbed the gas grenade over to him and Gabriel just managed to snatch it out of the air without dropping Tali. He then gently lowered her to the ground and leaned her up against the stone wall, flinching as he heard Tali gasping for air. “Okay! Listen up, Kaidan! We only get one shot at this! I’ll throw a singularity out into the middle of the field, but it won’t be strong enough to pull everyone in! So, I need you to pull anyone who isn’t affected towards the singularity. Clear?!” 

 

“On your mark, Commander!” Kaidan bellowed. Gabriel poured all his strength into the singularity field and hurled it into the middle of the field. It burst into action and began dragging the zombies and colonists towards itself. Gabriel was able to pull everyone except three colonists on the far side, and Kaidan was able to pull only two of them, leaving a lone colonist standing. Gabriel armed the grenade and lobbed it into the centre of the singularity. It exploded a few seconds later, engulfing the singularity’s victims in green smoke. The Thorian creatures were vaporized by the blast while the colonists fell to the ground, knocked unconscious by the gas. Gabriel had no time to celebrate and used his thrusters to close the gap between him and the last remaining colonist. He pulled out his Hurricane and aimed it at the lone survivor, who was trembling from head to toe, and held a pistol aimed at Gabriel. It was Fai Dan, the colony leader and he was in visible agony.

 

“I tried to fight it…” Fai Dan growled. “But it gets in your head…You can’t imagine the pain…” 

 

“Fai Dan…” Gabriel threatened. “Put the gun down.”

 

“It’s not that easy, Commander”, Fai Dan hissed. “Although I wish it was…”

 

“I know you’re not in control of yourself”, Gabriel began. “But it-

 

“I was supposed to be their leader…” Fai Dan interrupted. “These people trusted me…” 

 

“Fai Dan”, Gabriel called out in a calm manner. “I can help, you just need to-

 

“It wants me to stop you…” Fai Dan interrupted again. “But…I…won’t…” He screamed out in agony and slowly pointed the gun away from Gabriel and towards his own head. 

 

“WAIT!” Gabriel shouted and lunged towards him, but Fai Dan had pulled the trigger before Gabriel could even touch him. He caught Fai Dan’s lifeless body as it crumpled towards the ground. Before Gabriel could think of what to do next, Kaidan was running over to him with Tali slung over his shoulders.

 

“Commander!” Kaidan yelled. “She’s lost consciousness! She needs help, NOW!”

 

_Shit, shit, SHIT._

 

Gabriel threw his omnitool open and hailed the Normandy.

 

“Joker?!” Gabriel yelled. 

 

“Commander!” Joker answered almost immediately. “How are things going?! We’re still on lockdown and-

 

“Joker, fuck the lockdown!” Gabriel barked. “Tali needs help, NOW! We’re on our way to the ship, make sure Doctor-

 

“Commander, I’m sorry to interrupt”, Joker cut in. “Forgive the insubordination, but I can’t lift the lockdown. Colonists are still trying to beat down our front door and the lockdown is the only thing keeping them alive. If I lift the lockdown, the Normandy’s automatic countermeasures will fry the colonists. We might be stuck inside the ship, but it’s the only thing keeping those people alive.” Gabriel paused for a moment to consider his options, although he did not have a lot to consider: they were out of options. 

 

“Kaidan”, Gabriel ordered. “Start heading to the ship with Tali. Keep her safe and stay out of sight until the Normandy’s lockdown is lifted. The moment Joker gives you the all-clear, run your ass into the medbay and hand Tali to Doctor Chakwas. Got it?”

 

“Yes, sir”, Kaidan answered. “What’s your plan, Commander?”

 

“Well”, Gabriel answered. “We know where the Thorian is. So, I’ll go put it down and hopefully that’ll restore the colonists and lift the Normandy’s lockdown.” 

 

“Sir?” Kaidan questioned. “You’re going alone?”

 

“Unfortunately”, Gabriel remarked. “That’s our only option. Unless you have a better idea?”

 

Kaidan shook his head respectfully and began heading towards the Normandy without another word, leaving Gabriel behind as he stared at Tali’s limp body, hoping he was not too late. 


	12. Act I : Chapter X

Act I : X

 

Feros, Thorian Lair

 

_Maybe…Just MAYBE…Maybe this wasn’t the best idea…But then again, what other choice did I have?_

 

Commander Gabriel Shepard carefully marched towards the next hallway, already knowing the horrors that awaited him around the corner. The Thorian had exceeded his expectations in almost every possible way, and he was now leaving nothing to chance. In addition to the Thorian thralls, deadly Asari clones now threatened him as well; however, at the very least, Gabriel had an idea to kill the Thorian. A few of his stray bullets had ruptured a large, bulbous, liquid-filled tendril attached to a wall, after which the Thorian let out a loud, ear piercing screech. Although Gabriel had no clue as to what the tendril was, he concluded whatever they were, the Thorian needed them to survive; therefore, all he had to do was sever enough of them and the Thorian would be in trouble. Gabriel hugged an archway and peeked around the corner, spotting a crowd of thralls - maybe seven of them - an Asari clone and yet another tendril. Already knowing what to do, he sprung into action, hurling a singularity towards the unaware group of thralls and suspending them in the air. 

 

_That was the easy part…_

 

The clone was now definitely aware of Gabriel’s presence and rushed towards him, firing its shotgun while mid-sprint. Gabriel used his thrusters to dash across the hallway, dodging the shotgun’s blast while also allowing himself to position himself on the clone’s left flank. The clone reacted by hurling a biotic throw towards him, but it dissipated the moment it touched Gabriel’s barrier, doing nothing more than draining a small amount of his stamina. Gabriel retaliated by dashing forward this time, ramming his shoulder into the clone and driving it stumbling backwards, towards the singularity. Its barrier protected it from the pull of the singularity field, but the clone was still within range of the resulting explosion as Gabriel detonated the singularity. The thralls were obliterated almost instantly, while the clone’s barrier flickered and failed, exposing it to an attack. It fired its shotgun again in a final attempt to kill its opponent, but Gabriel had already closed the gap between them and the shot peppered a stone wall, leaving its target unharmed.

 

“Hey, don’t be ashamed!” Gabriel teased as he extended his omniblade. “My aim isn’t much better than yours!” Gabriel swung his arm sideways and completely severed the clone’s head, causing thick, green liquid to spray out of its open neck. Gabriel felt the warm, slimy liquid splash onto his face and he instantly recoiled away from the clone’s decapitated body as it slumped to the ground. He quickly rubbed the liquid away from his eyes and surveyed the room, only relaxing once he was certain it was clear of hostiles. Gabriel then cleaned off the rest of his face, regretting all the times he had taken his helmet for granted, and wishing it was on his head. 

 

“Fuck this shit!” Gabriel swore as he primed his submachine gun and fired a volley of bullets into the Thorian’s tendril, causing it to rupture and spill more green pus everywhere. He then reloaded a fresh thermal clip and began heading into the next stairwell. 

 

_I can’t slow down. Not now. Tali needs help and every moment I spend here is a moment she loses. Damn it, Tali…you better still be alive! Hang in there! I’m going as fast as I can._

 

/

 

Tali’Zorah painfully opened her eyes to gaze upon her unfamiliar HUD yet again, but everything appeared blurry and devoid of colour. Her severe tunnel vision also disoriented her and she had no idea where she was, and it was only becoming worse. Tali attempted to inhale, but her throat was swollen and dry from her immune response, resulting in a painful wheeze that sent her into a coughing fit. She vaguely felt a hand firmly grasp her chest, and only barely was able to make out the voice that crackled over the helmet’s communication unit. 

 

“Tali! I know it’s difficult, but you need to keep quiet as much as you can! If they find us, we’re in trouble!”

 

Tali could not identify the voice and she was definitely not in a condition to listen either, her coughing continued until it came out in ragged breaths. 

 

“Tali! Can you even hear me?!” 

 

Tali’s throat was now almost completely blocked, causing her to lose consciousness again after her next agonizing attempt at breathing. 

 

/

 

Commander Gabriel Shepard carefully leaned over the edge of the concrete cliff to look down at the dark abyss below, attempting to find any trace of the Thorian. After facing such a monstrosity, he doubted a fall would manage to kill it, but he found no evidence to suggest the damned thing was still alive. 

 

_That friggin’ thing better be dead…and that also better have friggin’ worked!_

 

Gabriel was about to open a comm channel to Kaidan or the Normandy, but he heard something fall to the ground behind him and he immediately raised his Hurricane while he turned around. An Asari - a normal one - had fallen to the ground, thoroughly drenched in green pus. She slowly rose to her feet, completely unfazed by the green sludge dripping down her body. 

 

_God damn it, what now?_

 

/

 

Tali’Zorah’s first stimulus was a numb, cool tingling sensation that seemed to affect her entire body. After a few moments of lying down on her back completely still, she soon started to shiver from the cold aura surrounding her. Tali moved her neck, but something prevented her from completely turning her head. The numbness made it difficult to determine why her motion was prohibited, but she could tell something was attached to her head that prevented her from turning sideways. Tali was puzzled and ceased moving for a few moments until she realized she was wearing a strange helmet. It was not her’s - nor was it Shepard’s - and it did not have a HUD, although she had no problems seeing through the clear visor. Everything she saw was tinted blue, which confused Tali but it did not affect her ability to see that she was in a medical bay - the Normandy’s medical bay - but she was not in a cot; in fact, she was not completely lying on her back, everything seemed to be at an incline. 

 

_I am so confused…Am I even alive?_

 

 

Her thoughts were interrupted by very faint, distorted voices - almost as if she was hearing the voices while underwater - and she struggled to listen, but failed to make out any words. Suddenly, something clicked clearly inside the helmet and Tali jumped in surprise, before she was able to see two familiar figures approach her. 

 

“Tali?” The voice was projected through a comms unit in her helmet and she was easily able to recognize Doctor Chakwas. Tali tried to say something, but was unable to open her mouth; furthermore, she had also just realized she was not in control of her own breathing. Her breathing was steady and consistent - also pleasantly painless - but completely out of her own control, which confused her even further. 

 

“Tali?” Chakwas repeated. “I have opened an interface on your heads-up-display. You should be able to see two coloured lights: red and purple. If you can hear me, please look directly at the purple light and quickly blink twice.” Tali’s HUD then flared to life, barraging her with multiple icons, diagrams and words, but they quickly vanished and the two lights Chakwas mentioned now appeared in the centre of her HUD. She cautiously stared into the purple light and rapidly blinked her eyes. 

 

“Excellent!” Chakwas praised. “Commander, she’s awake and showing strong vitals!” 

 

“Tali?” Gabriel’s voice now filled Tali’s helmet, giving her a familiar warm, safe feeling she enjoyed very much. “Can you hear me too? Purple light for yes, red light for…wait…I guess if you couldn’t hear me you wouldn’t be able to…ummm…yeah purple light for yes.” Even now, Tali could not help but roll her eyes.

 

_He’s an idiot…but…I love it._

 

Tali blinked twice towards the purple light once again. “Oh, good”, Gabriel breathed. “I’m glad you’re okay.”

 

“Tali”, Chakwas began. “You are safely aboard the Normandy again. We are in the medbay, and you are inside a liquid recovery pod. You are completely submerged in a solution of modified medigel, which is blue in colour and that is why everything you see appears to be in a shade of blue. There is also a mechanical breathing apparatus inserted directly into your trachea through your mouth and nose, which is why you cannot breathe by yourself, just stay calm and allow the machine to autonomously breathe for you. Any abnormal sensations you might be experiencing, such as: a burning sensation, irritable itching, numbness or uncomfortable warmth, is likely due to the medigel solution directly contacting your skin. These feelings are normal. If you understood everything I have said thus far, please use the purple light. If you would like me to repeat myself, please use the red light.” Once again, Tali blinked twice at the purple light. “Are you experiencing any pain?” Chakwas continued. Tali replied by using the purple light.

 

“Great!” Gabriel exclaimed. “Cuz you’re probably gonna be stuck there for a while…so it’s good you’re not uncomfortable.” Tali frowned in disapproval, but soon realized that was probably to be expected. 

 

“The Commander could definitely use a bit more…finesse”, Chakwas said with a hint of disapproval. “Unfortunately, he is correct. Your body will need plentiful time to fully recover, Tali. Hopefully, you will be ready to be ejected from the pod in approximately two weeks, perhaps three to be safe.”

 

“But don’t worry!” Gabriel laughed. “I’ll visit every couple of hours! I promise! You’ll be sick of me soon enough!” 

 

_Oh, I sincerely doubt that…_

 

 


	13. Act I : Chapter XI

Act I : XI

 

SSV Normandy 

 

“Yeah, so long-story-short, my brain still hurts and Asari mind magic is only cool when you’re not the one in the crosshairs…” 

 

Tali’Zorah happily listened to Gabriel as he debriefed her personally on the Feros mission report; after all, she was unable to move and had nothing better to do. 

 

“I still have no idea what the Cipher is, or how to use it, but apparently it is now in my head.” Gabriel continued. “Honestly, I don’t feel any different than before. I just have a huge headache now, if that counts?” Tali rolled her eyes, straining herself to make it obvious enough for Gabriel to notice. “Wow, you can’t move a muscle, but somehow you can always manage to do something sassy…I don’t know whether to be impressed or insulted.” Gabriel laughed as he finished working on his omnitool, then stood up from his chair to approach Tali’s pod. He brought his gaze to Tali’s eyes and looked straight at her, now immediately serious and tense. Tali was almost worried at how quickly Shepard had changed his demeanour, and was waiting anxiously for him to say something. “Hey, listen…” Shepard said quietly. “I know we joke around a lot, but the reality of the situation is this: you almost died, Tali. It would have been my fault if you didn’t make it. Mine. I don’t know how close we were cutting it with you - and I don’t WANT to know - but from here on out, we’re going to be more careful. Doctor Chakwas is already reaching out to the Citadel to get our hands on more medical equipment suited for taking care of Quarians. When you’re in better shape, we’ll get your help adding to that shopping list. I’m not taking anymore chances with you, okay?” Shepard was silent for a few moments before he gently pressed his palm against the pod, and looked into Tali’s eyes with unmistakable affection. Tali felt her cheeks heat up and silently hoped Gabriel would not notice that she was blushing. She wished she could reach out and press her hand against his, yearning for the soft touch of Gabriel’s palm; however, she settled for longingly staring into his vibrant, hazel eyes, which seemed to swirl and glow as if they were liquid honey. 

 

_He cares about me._

 

Gabriel then abruptly snatched his palm away and quickly turned his head to the medbay door.

 

“Sorry”, he muttered. “I didn’t mean to get so unprofessional. I’m just…I’m really glad you’re not dead. I can’t handle another death on my conscience. I’ve already managed to get one of my crewmen killed, I’m not planning on adding to that list.” 

 

_Is that all I am, Shepard? Just another crew member? I don’t believe that._

 

Tali then decided to stop herself from thinking too hard on the subject. Regardless of how much she wanted Gabriel’s affection towards her to be romantic, she knew it was unrealistic to hope for such a thing. Shepard was the Normandy’s captain, which meant he HAD to care about his crew; otherwise, he would be a terrible captain. His interest in Tali would be purely platonic - no different than how he would care for Ashley, or Engineer Adams - and he would probably treat anyone else in the same manner if they were in this pod instead of her. Tali was nothing special to Shepard, she was just simply the one aboard the ship that required the most attention due to her medical condition. If she assumed Shepard’s intent was anything other than the responsibility of a good captain, Tali would only prepare herself for disappointment. No matter how infuriatingly painful it would be, Tali needed to stop herself from interpreting Shepard’s affection as romance. 

 

_If the universe had any amount of fairness inside it, Shepard would be a Quarian. Damn it all._

 

“Did anyone tell you about Jenkins?” 

 

Shepard’s question broke Tali’s concentration on her internal dilemma and pulled her back to reality. She tried her best to bury all her thoughts and clear her head, choosing to focus on Gabriel instead. Even if Gabriel was not romantically interested in her, she still enjoyed having his attention. She blinked at the red light on her visor. 

 

“Not at all, huh?” Shepard inquired. “Probably for the best, anyway. It wasn’t exactly a pleasant story. Just like on Elysium when-

 

He immediately cut himself off mid-sentence and seemed to freeze, going completely still. Gabriel looked as if he had also stopped breathing, which caused Tali to become a combination of both worried, and curious. She waited for Gabriel to continue speaking for what seemed like hours, but he simply remained completely still and silent as a statue; in fact, the awkward silence was now even making Tali uncomfortable. She wished she had some way of grabbing Gabriel’s attention, but all she could do was anxiously await his decision to continue talking. 

 

“Nevermind”, Shepard finally said. “Forget I said anything.” 

 

_Seriously? All that tension for nothing?_

 

Tali was quite irritated with her lack of closure on the subject, but was utterly surprised when Shepard began walking towards the exit.

 

“I should go”, he mumbled. Tali heard a faint hiss as the auditory simulators in the pod emulated the magnetic seals of the medbay door closing. Her heart then sank as she realized Shepard had left her alone, with the exception of Doctor Chakwas who was in her office. 

 

_What was that all about?_

 

/

 

“How’s Tali doing, Commander? The Doc won’t let anyone into the medbay to say hi to her. Is she okay?”

 

Commander Gabriel Shepard stared down at his lunch tray and mindlessly poked at his broccoli with his fork, oblivious to both his meal and the conversation carrying on around him. Truth be told, he was not hungry, but attempted to clear his mind in the mess hall with the rest of the crew. The mess hall was one of the few places where rules and regulations seemed to be overlooked. Officers would behave like grunts fresh out of the academy, and grunts in turn would tease and harass their superiors without any fear of disciplinary action. It was more than a break and meal area, it was a common room where everyone was an equal - regardless of name or rank - after all, everyone needed to eat, and the atmosphere was more suited for a dysfunctional family gathering, than a military cafeteria. Gabriel, and every other soul aboard the Normandy, felt at HOME when everyone was gathered in the mess hall. Unfortunately, the Commander had a lot on his mind, and the mess hall did not feel the same at this point in time.

 

“Commander?”

 

Gabriel looked up from his tray to see Kaidan looking at him expectantly, along with everyone else sitting at the table. 

 

“Sorry, what was the question?” Gabriel muttered. 

 

“Are you alright, Commander?” Garrus questioned, eyeing Gabriel curiously with a small twitch in his mandibles. 

 

“Yeah, yeah”, Gabriel answered. “My bad, what was the question?”

 

“Is Tali alright?” Kaidan repeated. 

 

“It’s difficult to say”, Gabriel mumbled. “She’s in a medical stasis pod, so she’s unable to move, but from everything Doctor Chakwas is telling me and seeing her for myself, I think she’ll be back to normal soon.”

 

“She’s tough, for a tiny little Quarian”, Wrex added while leaning back in his chair, which creaked under his weight. “She took a good, old fashioned Krogan headbutt and survived, which is something even some Krogan can’t brag about. I wouldn’t worry about her.” 

 

_But I DO worry about her…_

 

“Commander, are you sure you’re okay?” Ashley demanded. “With all due respect, you look like how I did when I lost my unit on Eden Prime. I’m sorry if that’s out of line, but you don’t look too good.” Gabriel realized he must have allowed his worries to show on his face. He tried his best to shrug and look as casual as possible. 

 

“Yeah, don’t worry Ashley, I’m fine”, Gabriel lied. “Just thinking about Saren.”

 

“So…Alenko…” Joker said, with a very mischievous tone in his voice. “What does she look like under that mask? Does she have tentacles? I’m betting on tentacles! Or spikes instead of eyebrows? Or is she actually a machine or something?”

 

“Come on, Joker”, Kaidan pleaded. “Is that any of our business? I don’t understand Quarians at all, so are we even allowed to know what they look like without masks? What if it’s some cultural taboo thing and we’re not supposed to be talking about this? Besides, I didn’t actually see her without her mask on, so I can’t answer that anyway.. Why don’t you ask Chakwas? Or the Commander?”

 

“Well…Commander?” Joker continued, now turning his playfully evil smile over to Gabriel. “Care to satisfy my curiosity? What does Tali look like? Come on, I promise I won’t tell!” The entire table had now gone silent and anxiously awaited Gabriel’s answer: even Wrex was looking over at him intently. 

 

“Ummm…” Gabriel stuttered, now feeling his cheeks and ears turning red. “I’m with Kaidan on this one…I don’t know if I’m allowed to tell anyone. I feel like that would be breaking Tali’s trust.Sorry, but you guys will have to get your answers directly from her.” A huge resounding groan echoed throughout the mess hall as everyone made their disappointment heard.

 

“Mutiny!” Wrex barked. “I call mutiny! Let’s airlock him!”

 

“Yeah, I second that!” Joker shouted. “Mutiny!”

 

“Calm down, Joker!” Ashley said as she rolled her eyes. “You’d probably break an arm trying to stage a mutiny.”

 

“That’s not inaccurate”, Joker chuckled. “I’ll just let Wrex do the dirty work, then install myself in the captain’s chair and take all the credit! Ha! Anyway…awww come on, Commander. At least tell me if there’s tentacles under there!”

 

“Fine”, Gabriel sighed. “There’s no tentacles.” 

 

“Damn it!” Joker exclaimed, before joining the rest of the table in laughter and more banter. Gabriel knew he would not finish his meal, so he stood up from the table and walked over to the small kitchen. As he discarded his food into the waste disposal chute, he saw Navigator Pressly in his peripheral vision put his own food tray into the sink. 

 

“I’ve seen you with that look in your eyes a few times, Commander”, Pressly said very softly. “You were thinking about Elysium again, weren’t you?” Gabriel felt his entire body tense at the sound of the word ‘Elysium’ and his heart sank. “You can always talk about it with me, Commander. I’m here anytime you need me; after all, I lost my sister and nephew on that horrible day, just like you lost your-

 

“I should go”, Gabriel sternly interrupted, causing Pressly to immediately close his mouth. “Thank you, Pressly. But that’s enough.” Gabriel left his unwashed tray on the counter and quietly rushed towards his private quarters, sealing the door behind him. 

 

_Elysium is the absolute last thing I want on my mind._

 


	14. Act I : Chapter XII

Act I : XII

 

SSV Normandy 

 

Tali’Zorah had been in the medical stasis pod for almost a whole week, and the time had finally come for her to begin breathing on her own, which also meant she could speak once again. 

 

“Alright, Tali”, Doctor Chakwas said in a soothing voice. “The fluid has been drained out of your helmet module. I shall give you a minute to adjust to the new environment before I take you off the breathing apparatus.” Tali savoured the tickling feeling of liquid droplets running down her bare face, and the feeling of her soaking, wet hair flowing freely in the medigel suspension. The rest of her body under her neck was still numb, and the sensation of feeling anything at all was a welcome change. “Are you ready, Tali?” Chakwas asked. Tali nodded her head very slowly and deliberately. Her motor skills were not affected by the medigel suspension; in fact, she could move every single part of her body freely. The reason she did not try to move, was because everytime she moved something below her neck, she was punished with a very uncomfortable pins-and-needles sensation which would remain for a few minutes, even after she stopped moving. Taking into account it was already uncomfortable enough to move with a completely numbed body, the pins-and-needles feeling was a perfect way to discourage any unnecessary movement. “Alright…five…four…three…two…one…the apparatus is offline. Try taking a few slow breaths, Tali.” 

 

_Okay…Relax…_

 

Tali took an incredibly cautious first breath, almost so cautious that she held her breath and did not exhale. Her chest expanded when she inhaled, but was pushed back lightly by the medigel: it was resisting the movement, as if she was underwater. She then carefully exhaled, almost slightly dizzy from holding her breath. The inside of her visor slightly fogged up from the condensation of her breath. She took a few more slow breaths, enjoying the sensation and promising herself she would never take breathing for granted ever again. 

 

“Excellent!” Chakwas exclaimed. “Everything looks okay, and your charts are all in the green. I will enable the oxygen recycler so that your visor clears up.” A small hissing sound inside her helmet made Tali jump in surprise, but she relaxed when her visor slowly cleared and she could clearly see the Doctor beaming at her. “So? How do you feel?”

 

“Bored”, Tali croaked, slightly shocked at the sound of her raspy voice. 

 

“It is quite normal for your voice to be slightly raspy for a few hours, but it should pass soon”, Chakwas reassured. “You are not dehydrated, but you have gone a few days without talking. Your body simply needs to ‘reinitialize’, so to speak. Do you feel like there is any liquid trapped in your throat?”

 

“No”, Tali croaked again. “I feel fine, other than my throat feeling a little dry and itchy.”

 

“It will pass soon, my dear”, Chakwas smiled. 

 

“So, how long before I’m outta this thing?” Tali inquired. 

 

“Perhaps two more weeks?” Chakwas offered. “Maybe a week and a half if you make good progress. Remember, your immune system is traumatized and your body is still in shock. It is best to avoid rushing your recovery, it will only lead to a relapse. Your quarian biology is working against you, unfortunately. A human or asari would have recovered by now, but you must wait until your immune system can sustain itself before leaving the pod.”

 

“Lovely”, Tali sighed. “Well, you’re the doctor here. I guess all I can do is wait for you to give me the thumbs-up.”

 

“A very mature attitude, Tali!” Chakwas beamed. “If only the others were more like you. I swear, everytime our illustrious Commander is in here, it is almost like treating a five-year old.”

 

“That doesn’t surprise me at all”, Tali laughed. With Gabriel on her mind again, Tali soon recalled her first day in the pod and Shepard’s odd behaviour, causing her laugh to disappear. “Doctor Chakwas?” Tali prodded. “Where’s Elysium?” 

 

“Elysium?” Chakwas repeated curiously. “It’s a planet in the Skyllian Verge, the first colony humans founded in the area. Why do you ask?” 

 

“Did the Commander live there?” Tali pressed. The doctor’s expression changed from curious to distant and serious, as if she had figured out why Tali was asking. 

 

“I am not at liberty to answer that, Tali”, Chakwas said in a matter-of-fact tone. “I am the Normandy’s resident doctor, and any information regarding my patients — no matter how insignificant it may be — is confidential. If you want answers, you will need to hear them from Commander Shepard himself. I am sorry, but I would answer in the same manner if anyone asked about you.”

 

_Damn it._

 

“I understand”, Tali sighed. Chakwas gave her a small, burdened smile, then promised she would return soon before walking off to her office. Tali took a few moments to think about the strange look on Chakwas’ face when she walked away: she definitely knew something. Tali was determined to satisfy her curiosity, but she would need to search elsewhere for answers. 

 

/

 

Commander Gabriel Shepard was in the medbay the moment he heard the news. 

 

“So, you can talk again, huh?” Gabriel teased. “I don’t know if that’s good, or bad.” Tali laughed in a very raspy voice, and he was almost worried enough to ask if she was in pain. 

 

“Good for me”, Tali began. “Bad for you!” 

 

_Well, she definitely hasn’t changed…_

 

Gabriel could not help but stare at Tali’s face whenever he popped in for a visit, as he was the only one granted the privilege by Chakwas. She was stunningly beautiful. Her skin was a pale, almost ghostly white, but not unattractive in any way; in fact, although it would have seemed strange on a human, Tali’s skin was vibrant and alluring. If she was a shade or two darker, it would have almost been easy to mistake her for a human, her features and body almost resembled a human — from the waist upwards in any case. Obviously, she had only two fingers and toes, along with the infamous ‘chicken legs’ turians also shared, but her facial features were so human, it shocked Gabriel. Tali’s long, elegant black hair flowed magnificently in the medigel, giving her the appearance of a mermaid from old human mythology. The most alluring part of Tali’s face were her eyes: quarians — or perhaps, maybe only Tali, Gabriel did not know — did not have pupils in their eyes. Instead, the iris enveloped the entire centre of the eye, and the iris on both of her eyes were a pure, lustrous silver colour: almost as if her eyes were made of metal. They almost seemed to glow and glimmer, which explained why her eyes always looked like two purple lights underneath her faceplate. Gabriel was completely lost in those silver eyes, and Tali must have noticed he was not paying attention. 

 

“Shepard? Are you even listening?”

 

“Wait, what?” Gabriel blurted out. “Sorry, I was…ummm…thinking about my last mission. What’s up?”

 

“Wow”, Tali fumed. “I’m not good enough to keep your attention? You’d rather think about something else, even when you’re talking to me? I’m sorry, am I boring you? Should I sing? Tell a joke? I’d offer to dance for your amusement, but I’m slightly stuck in this pod at the moment.” 

 

“Okay, okay!” Gabriel laughed. “I’m sorry, you have my undivided attention.” 

 

“Too late, Gabriel”, Tali mocked. “I forgot what I was going to say. I guess I’ll ask about your last mission, since it’s all you can think about. Thanks for asking me to come with you, by the way. I appreciate being ignored.” 

 

“WHAT?!” Gabriel demanded. “YOU’RE IN A POD?! HOW COULD YOU EVEN GO WITH ME?!”

 

“It doesn’t matter”, Tali sassed. “You still could have asked, and you didn’t. I’ll remember that.” 

 

“Chakwas!” Gabriel called out. “Put the respirator back on! Tali isn’t allowed to talk anymore!” 

 

Gabriel had not laughed this much in his entire life. 

 

/

 

“You always have a stupid smile on your face whenever you visit. Why is that?” 

 

Tali’Zorah was always happy to see Gabriel, not only because he was the only one allowed to visit her, but because she loved having his attention. She almost dreaded the fact that she would be ejected from the pod tomorrow, and his visits to the medbay would end. 

 

“Well”, Gabriel began. “The thing is…actually, no. I won’t tell you why. You’ll see why tomorrow, when we bust you outta that pod.”

 

“Not fair!” Tali exclaimed. “Come on, tell me!”

 

“Nope!” Gabriel insisted. “I’ll tell you tomorrow, you’ll just have to be patient.” 

 

_Okay. NOW, I’m very curious. Just another reason why I want to be out of the damn pod._

 

Tali’s body was still numb, but she could now move freely without any discomfort. It felt nice to move around and stretch her limbs every now and then, but her body was begging to be released from the medical prison. 

 

“So”, Gabriel prodded. “What’s the first thing you’re gonna do when you’re outta the pod?” 

 

“Go back down to the engineering deck where my commander can’t ask me stupid questions”, Tali provoked. 

 

“Nope!” Gabriel laughed. “Not biting this time! Find your entertainment elsewhere!”

 

“Oh, you’re no fun!” Tali giggled. “I guess I’ll eat something. I’ve been living off nutrition from the pod’s injection system for the last few weeks, it’ll be nice to actually eat something real.”

 

“It’ll be nice having you back at the mess hall”, Gabriel smiled. “Everyone misses you…well…almost everyone. Honestly, it’s been nice for me to be able to eat without someone taking a jab at me. I’m almost sad you’re coming back. Soon, I won’t be able to eat in peace and quiet.” 

 

“I know you missed me”, Tali teased. “I can tell.”

 

“You’re making a HUGE assumption there, Miss Zorah”, Gabriel smirked. 

 

“Whatever”, Tali said as she rolled her eyes. “Anyway, have you found Doctor T’soni yet?” 

 

“No”, Gabriel answered. “We’ve been looking through each system in the cluster, but no luck yet. We’ve cleared two systems so far, so we’re definitely getting closer, but we need to find her soon. Saren’s also looking for her, and we can’t let him find her first.”

 

“If he is looking for her, why don’t you scan for Geth signatures instead?” Tali inquired. “Saren won’t be searching himself, he’ll be using his Geth to do all the hard work for him. So scan for Geth units. That way, all you need to do is let Saren find her, then swoop in with the Normandy in stealth mode and get to her first. It’ll avoid wasting all this time searching planet to planet.” Gabriel just stared at her blankly with a dumbfounded look. 

 

“Holy fucking shit, why didn’t we think of that?” Gabriel muttered. 

 

“Because you’re not me”, Tali quipped. “Go on, go tell Pressly to change the search to Geth instead. You’ve already wasted enough time.” 

 

 

 

 


	15. Act I : Chapter XIII

Act I : Chapter XIII

 

SSV Normandy

 

Commander Gabriel Shepard helped Doctor Chakwas with the last minute checks and double checks, already feeling anxious about the plan she discussed with him. Today, Tali would finally be ejected from the pod, but the method of accomplishing such a task was no easy feat. She would need to be ejected in an environment with absolutely no pathogens or any other microscopic contaminants. Obviously, this did not leave them an abundance of options, but Chakwas came up with an idea and Gabriel had agreed it was probably the method most likely to succeed: Tali would need to be ejected in the Normandy’s airlock. The plan was to move the medical stasis pod into the airlock, then he and Chakwas would cycle the atmosphere with the vacuum outside the ship - obviously while they were both wearing hardsuits. From there, the airlock would be completely sterilized and they would raise the temperature to a comfortable standard. Then, the airlock would need to be pressurized once more in order for the atmosphere to be safe for Tali. Only after they scanned the airlock and were completely sure it was safe would Tali be prepped for the ejection procedure. In theory, it was a fine plan and did not seem to carry a huge additional risk; however, there was absolutely no margin for error - if anything were to go wrong, Tali could die. Gabriel was sweating inside his helmet: everything absolutely needed to go perfectly. He checked the cargo cart one final time and was satisfied with the stability of the pod. Usually, the cart was used to move heavy objects around in the cargo bay: ammo crates, supplies, ship parts, mako tires and everything else in between. This time, it was being used to move very precious cargo and it needed to do it without a problem. Gabriel nodded towards Chakwas and she nodded in return before placing her helmet over her head. 

 

“Well?” Tali pressed. “Are we ready?” 

 

“Ready was we’ll ever be”, Gabriel answered. 

 

“Alright, Tali”, Chakwas said calmly. “I will engage the blast shields now. We will see you in the airlock.” Gabriel reached out his armoured hand and placed it gently on the tempered glass of the pod, smiling as Tali did the same from the other side. He took in every little detail on her two-fingered hand and memorized every part of her smooth, delicate palm. 

 

“Everything’s going to be okay, Tali”, Gabriel reassured.

 

“Are you trying to convince me, or yourself?” She teased. 

 

“Yes”, Gabriel chuckled. He then nodded to Chakwas and she pressed a button on her omnitool. The pod then extended its large metal panels and encased itself in a protective shell. Gabriel was sure it would be unnerving to be trapped inside a pitch black container like that, but at least she would be safe. 

 

“Tali, are you still able to hear us?” Chakwas asked through the comm channel. 

 

“No”, Tali teased. “Could you please say that again? It’s too dark in here, I can’t hear you.” 

 

“Moving on…” Chakwas continued. “The system diagnostic shows the pod is secure. We shall begin moving you.” Gabriel activated the magnetic lifts on the cargo cart and it slowly raised itself off the ground, with the pod perfectly balanced. The pod was definitely on the heavier side, but the cart did not seem to be struggling under the weight. 

 

“There is likely going to be a large crowd of spectators gathered outside the medbay doors”, Chakwas commented. “I will make sure they clear the way for you. Take your time pulling the cart, Commander. We are in no rush.” 

 

“Speak for yourself!” Tali quipped. “I am definitely in a rush!” Gabriel rolled his eyes underneath his helmet. 

 

/

 

_“Equalizing interior pressure with exterior atmosphere. Warning: vacuum detected in exterior environment. Alert: Normandy personnel detected inside airlock compartment. Airlock cycle procedure aborted.”_

 

Tali’Zorah knew the Normandy VI was programmed with all the safety procedures in existence, and for the first time it seemed like it was not working in her favour. 

 

“Commander, she still won’t let me cycle the airlock, and she’s not giving me an option to force the cycle procedure”, Joker reported over the comm. Tali thought it was cute that Joker referred to the Normandy as ‘she’, he really was attached to the ship, and obviously liked the ship more than anyone inside it. 

 

“Alright, I’ll try something on my end”, Shepard grumbled. Tali could tell he was anxious, even without being able to see anything. She admitted it was very disorienting being inside an absolutely dark environment, she could not even see her own hands in front of her face. 

 

_I can’t wait to be out of this damned thing…_

 

_“Equalizing interior pressure with exterior atmosphere. Warning: vacuum detected in exterior environment. Alert: Normandy personnel detected inside airlock compartment. Airlock cycle procedure aborted.”_

 

“Stupid omnitool”, Shepard barked. “Alright…what about this?” 

 

_“Equalizing interior pressure with exterior atmosphere. Warning: vacuum detected in exterior environment. Alert: Normandy personnel detected inside airlock compartment. Airlock cycle procedure aborted.”_

 

“Fuck”, Shepard swore. “Sorry, Doc. Excuse my marine vocabulary. Okay, what about THIS?” 

 

_“Equalizing interior pressure with exterior atmosphere. Warning: vacuum detected in exterior environment. Alert: Normandy personnel -_

 

“Okay, okay!” Shepard shouted over the intercom. “We get it! Ship not happy! Got it! Please shut up now!” Tali giggled to herself. She might have been quite nervous, but it was always entertaining hearing Gabriel shout. 

 

_“Equalizing interior pressure with exterior atmosphere. Warning: vacuum detected in exterior environment. Please standby.”_

 

“Hang on tight to the bars, Doc”, Shepard ordered. “There’s going to be a little bit of a tug.” 

 

“Not to worry, Commander”, Chakwas replied. “This is not my first - 

 

Her voice was completely cut off by the sudden howl of wind as the airlock cycled and the chamber was thrown into a vacuum. Tali wished her pod’s auditory simulators had been turned off. 

 

“You good, Doc?” Shepard asked 

 

“Very good”, Chakwas answered. “Now, pressurize the airlock once again, and engage the temperature stabilizer.” 

 

“Got it”, Shepard stated. 

 

_“Airlock compartment pressurizing sequence initiated. Please standby.”_

 

An audible hissing sound emanated from inside the chamber, and Chakwas breathed a slow sigh of relief. 

 

“Final step, now”, she commented. “Raise the temperature.” 

 

“Already done”, Shepard sighed. 

 

“Alright, then”, Chakwas continued. “Nitrogen and oxygen levels are fine. Pressure is stabilized. Temperature at one hundred and six Kelvin and rising. We shall give the heating elements a few moments until the temperature is at two hundred and ninety-eight Kelvin, which should be more than comfortable for our lovely Quarian.” 

 

“What’s so special about two-ninety-eight Kelvin?” Shepard inquired. 

 

“Nothing special, Commander”, Chakwas replied. “Two hundred and ninety-eight Kelvin - or approximately twenty-five degrees celsius - is standard room temperature, which should be comfortable for Tali. Speaking of which, you have been abnormally quiet, my dear. Are you alright, Tali?” 

 

“I’m fine”, Tali answered. “Just anxious to get outta here.” 

 

“That makes two of us”, Gabriel muttered. “We good to go, Doc?” 

 

“Two hundred and fifty-five Kelvin, Commander”, Chakwas reported. 

 

“Well, it’s safe enough to get the blast shielding off”, Shepard observed. “Let’s start with that.” Tali felt the medigel suspension around her vibrate very softly as the pod collapsed its metal panels and she could see the airlock chamber. The sudden burst of light blinded her and she kept her eyes closed for a few moments. 

 

“Nice to see you again”, Shepard grinned. 

 

“I wish I could say the same”, Tali said without opening her eyes. 

 

“The blindness should pass soon, Tali”, Chakwas reassured. “Now begins the difficult portion of our plan. The atmosphere we are in is not completely sterilized anymore, so we must limit Tali’s exposure to the air as much as we can. Not a perfect scenario, but this is as close to perfect as we can achieve. Are you ready, Tali? I will begin the ejection procedure as soon as you are prepared.” 

 

“I’ve been ready for two weeks”, Tali sassed. “Pull me out.” Tali’s visor flashed red and a beeping noise sounded off as the medigel suspension began draining out of the pod. The numbness covering her entire body slowly began to dissipate and she could now feel her fingers. 

 

“Ugh gross”, Shepard groaned as he stepped around in the ankle-deep pool of medigel that was now at the bottom of the airlock. He then placed a small crate in front of the pod and opened it, revealing Tali’s purple, embroidered environment suit tucked inside it.

 

“Alright, Tali”, Chakwas spoke up. “Do not try to move, I am now going to open the pod. When you are ready, climb out. The Commander and I will assist you in getting dressed. Take your time, but do not waste your time either.” Tali struggled to remain still as the glass door hissed open and Tali felt a shivering breeze take her by surprise. Her entire body was still wet from the medigel, and she began to shiver. When Tali was sure all the feeling had come back to her, she grabbed onto the sides of the pod and pulled herself out of it. Tali jumped slightly as she felt the touch of Gabriel and Chakwas on her bare, naked skin. 

 

_Wait a minute…_

 

Tali wrenched the helmet off her head and looked down at her feet, realizing for the first time that she was completely naked.

 

_Oh, Keelah!_

 

She instantly felt her cheeks begin to burn red and she caught Shepard’s gaze.

 

“YOU NEVER TOLD ME I WAS FUCKING NAKED THE ENTIRE TIME!” Tali yelled. 

 

“That’s the thing I was going to tell you today!” Shepard countered. Tali was absolutely furious because she could tell Gabriel was smirking underneath his helmet. 

 

“BOSH’TET!” Tali swore. 


	16. Act I : Chapter XIV

Act I : Chapter XIV

 

SSV Normandy 

 

 

 

“Look, I get it, you’re mad…but I got you something as a gift to make you like me again!” 

 

Tali’Zorah sincerely doubted a simple gift would make her anger vanish, even if the gift was from Gabriel himself. It felt strange to be wearing her environment suit once again, especially after many days of being inside the medical pod. Engineer Adams had the suit completely sterilized while Tali was recovering; although she was grateful, it felt uncomfortably tight around her thighs and ankles, almost as if it was a completely new suit. Adams had also personally constructed Tali's new faceplate, which dazzled and gleamed under the bright lighting of the crew deck. She had to admit, the engineer’s skill was almost on par with quarian craftsmanship, and she was very impressed that her new faceplate seemed to be identical to its predecessor. According to Adams, Tali’s visor was made of the same starship-grade glass material that the Normandy used - “even an ion torpedo wouldn’t punch through it!” Tali was not tempted to test the theory; nonetheless, she was very touched at the effort Adams had put into her new faceplate. 

 

_I’ll get him something nice the next time we dock on the Citadel._

 

Gabriel opened the doors into his personal quarters and Tali followed him inside, taking the opportunity to subtly look around the room. Gabriel’s bed was neatly made - almost to perfection, it seemed like it had never been slept in before - and tucked in the corner of the room. A large display screen occupied the port-side wall and a small table stood in front of it, surrounded by two chairs. A lone datapad sat upon the otherwise empty table, and with its display turned off, Tali quickly dismissed it, turning her gaze to Gabriel’s desk which occupied the corner opposite the bed. Gabriel walked over to the desk and bent over to reach for something tucked underneath, which gave Tali plentiful time to eye the desktop thoroughly. In complete contrast with the rest of the room, the desktop was an absolute mess. A handful of datapads were mindlessly thrown across, some of which were still turned on. The computer display in the upper-right corner of the desktop was in sleep-mode, barely visible with its dimly lit screen; however, Tali was able to distinguish multiple open windows filled with text and diagrams. A half-filled coffee mug stood on the very edge of the left side, obviously cold, unwanted, and on the verge of being knocked over the side by any small bump. Tali was about to give Gabriel an earful of sass, but she suddenly noticed a framed picture placed behind the coffee mug. Tali’s heart immediately sank as she saw Gabriel standing next to a beautiful human woman, with a joyous smile on his face, and his arms wrapped around her waist. Tali’s first reaction was to look for similarities between Gabriel and the woman, hoping she would resemble a sibling, or a relative - not a partner, or spouse. The woman had jet black hair, fierce blue eyes, and a very intimidating aura around her face. If she was not laughing in the photo and showcasing her almost perfect smile, she would have appeared to be the most unapproachable person in the galaxy. Tali was simultaneously vindicated and jealous: the woman looked as if she was repulsive in nature, but extraordinarily happy to be in Gabriel’s arms, almost mocking Tali through the framed glass like she owned Gabriel. The woman’s skin tone suggested she could be related to Gabriel: they shared the same light, mocha shade of skin, but everything else about her visage concluded they were nothing alike. Tali soon felt the sharp itch of anxiety creeping up through her chest, and she absolutely needed to know who this woman was to satisfy her curiosity. Even if the dreaded truth was that the woman was Gabriel’s wife, Tali absolutely needed the closure. Gabriel chose that moment to stand back up with a decently sized box in his hands wrapped with blue paper.

 

“This is for you!” Gabriel beamed. 

 

“Huh?” Tali grunted as she snapped out of her anxious trance. “What’s that?”

 

“Pffft, I can’t tell you that!” Gabriel snorted. “You gotta open it up and find out for yourself!” 

 

“Oh, there’s something inside it?” Tali inquired. 

 

“No, Tali, I’m just giving you an empty box for fun”, Gabriel scorned. 

 

“Why the hell would you do that?” Tali questioned, now slightly annoyed with Gabriel. 

 

“Hey, what’s your problem- oh… yeah…ummm…my bad”, Gabriel started equally annoyed, but now looked embarrassed. “Do quarians wrap presents? Like…do you hide presents inside of boxes and give them to people to open? Like, surprise them?” 

 

“I have literally never done that, or had another quarian do it to me”, Tali giggled. “That just sounds like a huge waste of both time and resources. Is this a human thing?” 

 

“Well…now that you mention it…” Gabriel began. “I never thought about that before. Maybe it is just a human thing? I haven’t really asked anyone else if they do it too…but hey, it’s not important! You’re my friend, and we’re gonna do a human thing together! I got you a gift and hid it inside this box. You have to open it up and see what it is!” Tali rolled her eyes and took the box from Gabriel, placing it on the table next to the lone datapad. She unsheathed her boot knife and stabbed the side of the box, sawing the box open with the serrated part of the blade. Gabriel quickly grabbed her arms and stopped her from moving, causing her to look at him in confusion. Gabriel then burst out in hysterical laughter, causing Tali’s anxiety to spike again.

 

“Okay, my fault!” Gabriel cried out through the tears streaming down his face. “I didn’t think I needed to explain this, but you’re supposed to open the box with your bare hands!” 

 

“You bosh’tet!” Tali sassed. “Of course you needed to explain that! How am I supposed to know how this works?! You literally just said it’s a human thing!”

 

“Sorry!” Gabriel apologized through his laughter. “Sorry! Okay…open it with your hands!” Tali sighed and began ripping the box open. She peeled off one side and reached inside to pull out something round. Tali grasped the gift with both hands and looked down to see Gabriel’s N7 helmet pressed between her fingers. 

 

“Your helmet?” Tali wondered out loud.

 

“Do you remember what you said to me on Feros?” Gabriel quizzed. “You told me I should get a new helmet because you were going to keep it? Well, I got a new one, so you can have this one. Don’t worry, I already cleaned out all your snot and sweat, so you can actually put it somewhere without messing the place up…so….ummm…do you like it?” Tali was utterly speechless and did not even have a witty remark to fire back at Gabriel. This was more than a simple gift for her, it was a piece of physical proof that Gabriel genuinely cared about her. Tali recalled her witty remark about keeping Gabriel’s helmet while she was wearing it, but she never imagined he would actually remember it, let alone take the time to clean it and prepare it for her as a gift. Tali hugged the helmet tightly to her body, and felt tears collecting in her eyes. 

 

“You did this for me?” Tali whispered. 

 

“Well…” Gabriel shrugged. “It was my stupid mistakes that almost got you killed…It was the least I could do…” 

 

“If you’re going to get me a present everytime you make a stupid mistake, I’m going to need a bigger footlocker”, Tali teased. Gabriel joined Tali in laughing and she realized he was still holding her arms from when she attempted to disembowel the box. Tali blushed furiously and looked back down at the helmet’s visor in her arms, remembering the first time she had seen the helmet in that dark alley on the Citadel. 

 

_My saviour._

 

“You know…” Tali giggled. “You’re still holding onto me, Commander.” Gabriel apologized and relaxed his palms - releasing his grip on Tali’s arms - but she quickly grabbed his right hand and placed it back on her arm. 

 

“I didn’t say stop”, Tali giggled. Gabriel pulled his hand away and knelt down to pick up the shredded pieces of paper and cardboard, much to Tali’s disapproval. 

 

“Well, I’m glad you like it”, Gabriel smiled. “Does this mean you’re not mad at me anymore?” 

 

“Oh, please”, Tali scoffed. “You’re not off the hook that easily!” 

 

“Darn!” Gabriel laughed. “Foiled again!” Tali then knelt down in front of Gabriel and met his gaze with her eyes. 

 

“But, seriously”, Tali said very softly. “Thank you. I love it.” She hugged the helmet closer to her chest again as she waited for Gabriel to say something back to her. Gabriel obviously noticed her attachment to the helmet. 

 

“You haven’t let go of that thing since you picked it up”, Gabriel observed with a small smile. “I can tell.” Tali then adjusted her legs to sit down on the floor in front of Gabriel, wishing with all her heart that he would take the hint and do the same. To her dismay, he arranged the remnants of the box into a pile, then grasped the pile and walked over to the trashcan on the other side of the desk. Tali was about to stand up in defeat until Gabriel walked back over to her and sat down in front of her, lifting Tali’s spirits immensely. 

 

“You look like you’re getting comfortable and have something you want to say”, Gabriel prodded. Tali’s heart began to race and felt like it would explode out of her chest; furthermore, the anxiety she felt before over the framed picture returned to her tenfold, and she felt her throat constricting itself in anticipation of her next few words. Tali desperately tried to find a way to start the conversation in a casual, less serious manner. 

 

“So, now that you’ve seen me naked, I think you owe me a few secrets since you’ve pretty much seen all of mine…” Tali said boldly. Gabriel remained quiet but deliberately raised an eyebrow and adjusted his posture slightly: he was definitely uncomfortable now. 

 

_Shit, was that too much? I think that was too much! Real smooth, Tali… how do I follow that?! What do I say now?! Oh, Keelah…_

 

Tali nervously shuffled her feet and regretted starting off in such a reckless manner, but she refused to remain quiet and decided to push forward; after all, Gabriel had been thrown off guard and Tali could take advantage of that. 

 

“Relax, Shepard”, Tali reassured. “It was a joke…well, not really. You should be used to my quirks by now, right?” Gabriel crossed his legs and straightened his back, but continued to remain silent.

 

_For the love of- please say something!_

 

“I guess you’re right about that”, Gabriel finally muttered. “I like to think I’ve tied down all your quirks but every now and then, you throw out a new one. Alright, well…what kind of secrets are you hoping to steal from me?” 

 

_Got him._

 

“Don’t worry”, Tali smirked. “I’m not after military secrets or classified documents. No, I’m thinking I want dirty, dark secrets nobody except Commander Shepard knows.” 

 

“Ha!” Gabriel scoffed. “This’ll be easy! I don’t have any of those! Ask away!” 

 

“That picture you have framed on your desk”, Tali started. “Who is that woman with you?” Gabriel stared blankly at Tali for a few moments then broke his gaze and looked over at the blank display on the wall behind the table. He remained silent and did not look back at Tali. Her anxiety rose out of her chest and began snaring her throat, almost forcing her to cough but she fought the urge to make a single sound. Tali decided to remain silent and await Gabriel’s answer. 

 

“Why do you ask?” Gabriel questioned without looking at Tali. 

 

“I guess I was just curious?” Tali answered nervously. “I mean…she is obviously someone who is very important to you, but in the entire time I’ve known you, you have never brought her up in conversation, either with me or anyone else.”

 

“Yeah, there’s a reason for that”, Gabriel huffed. Tali was immediately put off by Gabriel’s sudden change in tone, almost to the point where she regretted bringing up the topic. Against her better judgement, Tali’s curiosity caused her to push Gabriel for an answer. 

 

“And that reason is…?” Tali pressed. 

 

“If I didn’t bring it up, it’s because I don’t want to talk about it. Obviously.” Gabriel shot. Tali knew she had already overstepped her boundaries, but she carelessly continued to probe Gabriel. She had come too far to be satisfied with dropping the topic and leaving Gabriel’s quarters. 

 

“Why not?” Tali challenged. 

 

“Are you not taking the hint, or are you choosing not to take the hint?” Gabriel barked. Tali had only now realized that she had gone too far and immediately began thinking of an apology, but she panicked, losing her composure in the process. 

 

“I’m sorry, Gabriel”, Tali whimpered. She then stood up swiftly and sped towards the door, slamming her hand onto the control panel. Tali squeezed through the doorway before the door had even finished opening and ran to the elevator, clutching Gabriel’s helmet in her arms. 

 

_That was the second stupidest thing I have ever done in my entire fucking life._

 

 

 

 


End file.
